10 Fake Game Show Host Intro Lines

I created this list for a job that didn't pan out in the past. They wanted a creative marketer, so I undertook this writing challenge and one other. I didn't get the job because I didn't have enough analytical experience--go figure. Note to all future creatives: You can't simply write or design, you have to be useful in other non-related fields. (Let the salt burn the Earth!)

1. It’s America’s favorite show: Tossed Commas and Scrambled Verbs. I’m your host Kelsey Grammar. While we like to abbreviate many things in this life, some things are not meant to be abbreviated. I told my colleagues I had a massive BM last night. It was a Bloody Mary. Anyway…  
2. We’re here for another episode of Sit, Stay, SPEAK—the show where you compete against a dog in basic commands. Tonight we’re brought to you by Boondock St. Bernards. Want a cuddly puppy with a taste for vigilante justice? Get yourself a Boondock St. Bernard. Someone take Beethoven out…for blood! 
3. Hey, gang. My name is Bob Sourbro, and THIS…is Carb or Starve, the trivia show that asks the question: Do you have a gluten allergy? 
4. Welcome to another episode of Cause for Pause—the game show about freezable movie frames. I’m Sebastian Pistachio, certified movie nut. 
5. Welcome to Who’s the Boss, Baby? I’m Bob Wattums. There are a few things coming in hot from my end right now, not the least of which are these trivia questions. 
6. Heather Snawgrass here, and welcome to the biblical quiz show Pope or Nope—the game where you confess your sins or face...YOUR LOCAL CLERGYMAN. 
7. And we’re back with the 100th episode of Romantic Encounter Challenge. I’m your host, Tucker Nepples. Look, my dudes: My dad's gonna stop paying advertisers if I don’t find a suitable mate soon. 
8. And we’re back with another round of Mound Pounders. The game that asks the age-old question: What's better? Almond Joy or Mounds.
9. Welcome back to Spin the Beef. My mom just called and said not to come home. She’s working with raw chicken, and it is Salmonella City there right now. So, sit back and relax because the door’s locked and we gotta kill time or be killed by unwashed meats.
10. Thanks for joining us for another episode of BBQuiz, the cooking game show Guy Fieri refused to host. I’m your host James Schlop. We’re heading right into the palette blaster round. Is the dunk tank ready, Jody?