Stop Staring

 “Stop Staring” 

August 14, 2021 (Version #1)

Katie Casper

CAST

Julie - 30s

Chrissy - 30s

Marla - 30s

Male Kid (Leonardo) - 7ish

Kid’s mom - early 40s

Kid’s grandpa - late 60s

A group of friends is out to eat at a Thai restaurant having a normal chat. One of the friends, Julie, keeps noticing that a kid is staring at her, and she can’t focus away from that.

CHRISSY

I posted about skin cancer warning signs on my social media account, and each time I get a like, that charity will donate a nickel to our clinic.

MARLA 

That’s amazing, Chrissy, really. Umm… Julie, what are you looking at?

JULIE

That CHILD is staring at me. 

CHRISSY

Just ignore him, Julie.

JULIE

How can I? Just look at him! 

[cuts to kid simply looking in Julie’s direction]

MARLA

I mean, it’s really not a big deal. Kids look at stuff.

[kid continues staring, blankly, at Julie]

JULIE

Not like this, MARLA! [Julie begins staring back intensely.]

I WAS GETTING SOME THAI FOOD WITH MY COLLEAGUES AFTER WORK 

I FELT SOMEONE’S EYES ON ME, IT WAS THAT LI’L TWERP 

I KNOW KIDS STARE, I GET IT, IT’S JUST IN THEIR NATURE 

BUT THIS FELT PERSONAL AND HE LOOKED LIKE A YOUNG FRASIER 

IT’S BEEN A FEW MINUTES AND HIS EYES ARE STARTING TO CROSS

I’M GONNA WIN THIS STARING CONTEST AT ANY FUCKIN’ COST

MY EYES ARE GETTING TIRED, BUT I CAN’T QUIT

SLIPPING VISINE IS MY STRATEGY, I WON’T SUBMIT

MY VISION’S GETTING BLURRY, THERE’S DEBRIS IN MY EYE

I’M GONNA STARE THIS LI’L SHIT DOWN, TILL MY CORNEAS GOES DRY

CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I ENGAGED TOO LONG AND THE KID’S MOM IS STARING NOW TOO

SHE’S CHECKING ME OUT IN BETWEEN HER BITES OF PAD SEE EW

I SCAN THE RESTAURANT, PRETEND I’M LOOKING FOR OUR SERVER

BUT I’M REALLY DOING IT SO I CAN CLOSELY OBSERVE HER

STOP LOOKING AT ME, LADY, FOCUS ON YOUR TABLE

THIS DINNER STARING CONTEST GOT ME FEELING UNSTABLE

CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

WE BROKE OUR GAZE, AND I THOUGHT I’D MOVE ON

BUT THEN I FELT THE UNEASY FEELING OF MORE EYES UPON

GREAT, NOW THE GRANDPA’S INVOLVED AND HE DOESN’T BLINK

I TRY TO HIDE MY FACE BEHIND MY FRIEND’S LARGE DRINK

IT’S LIKE A THOUSAND YARD STARE, SEARING DEEP IN MY SOUL

I’M NOT LOOKING AT HIS EYES, CUZ HE’S GOT A HAIRY MOLE

I EXAMINE IT, ANALYZE IT, IT MAY BE MELANOMA

I NEVER THOUGHT NOW WOULD BE THE TIME I’D USE MY DIPLOMA 

I APPROACHED THE TABLE, THEIR DISCOMFORT APPARENT

I LOOKED CLOSELY AT THE GRANDPA, AND TURNED TO THE PARENT

JULIE

Tell your kid to stop staring at me! I’m trying to enjoy my yellow curry with my friends, and he’s being very rude!

KID’S MOM

You’re the one staring at us.

JULIE

He started it!

KID’S MOM

Is that true, Leonardo?

LEONARDO

Yes. I started it. I’m sorry, lady. I didn’t mean to ruin your dining experience.

JULIE

It’s OK, kid. Just remember: a glance is all right, but once you go over a couple seconds, that’s crossing a line. Enjoy your dinner.

KID’S MOM

Thanks for your understanding, ma’am. It won’t happen again.

 

JULIE

It better not. [starts intensely staring and quickly breaks] Just kidding, folks.

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

end