Thursday, September 16, 2021

10 Games to Play if You Liked Rimworld

Do you enjoy micromanaging seemingly mundane tasks in your free time? Did Rimworld bring on an insatiable hunger to bring more simulations to your fingertips? Rimworld is a construction and management simulation game; the main hook being the survival of your colony on the outer reaches of space (i.e., "rim of the world"). The genre is generally niche, with avid fans seeking that next bit of tactical immersion. Here's a sampling of several games that may sate the desire for more world building and task management.

Dwarf Fortress

A suitable starting point is a game that greatly influenced RimWorld (along with Dune, Firefly and Warhammer 40,000). Dwarf Fortress' deep simulation system is so deep that's its Steam release date is currently slated as "time is subjective." With that said, the game is available to play on PC, Mac, and Linux.

There are two main gameplay modes: Fortress and Adventurer. The seemingly limitless meat of the game is in Fortress mode, commanding dwarves as they search for wealth in their procedurally generated mountain. The dwarves sustain themselves on the staples: food and beer; and they'll need to protect themselves from hostile outsiders. The game will soon expand, allowing players to craft items, build structures, and grow the culture of dwarven society (bookbinding, anyone?). In Adventurer mode, you create a character, choose both functional and physical attributes, and select their skills. This character is part of the same worlds created in Fortress mode, which continues to pass time and develop. Eating, drinking, and sleeping are vital tasks, as well as sheltering from evil creatures of the night. Adventurer mode also includes a quest system that the NPCs provide via rumors and agreements. And, of course, since time is subjective, players can review the history of the worlds and characters created in Legends mode.

Cities Skylines

Harkening back to a certain wildly popular simulation city builder of the 1990s (or was it 2000?), City: Skylines provides an updated feel for a new generation ready to get lost in the immersion of creating a city from the ground up. The player assumes the role of city mayor, overseeing transportation, economics, healthcare, education, and more. The citizens will be judging the mayors choices, so try to keep that in mind. Included in the After Dark expansion, a day and night cycle is introduced which adds nuance to what goes on—or doesn't—after dark. Another expansion, Snowfall, includes an in-game weather system. Managing the dynamic of changing seasons is sure to test your mayoral prowess.

Prison Architect

Take on the role of warden as you build and manage a high-security prison in Prison Architect. There's a lot on the to-do list including money management, natural disaster preparation, riot prevention, and—everyone's favorite—litigation! Ethics come into play, so ensuring the staff is trained to serve, protect...and snitch is vital for prosperity. The inmates, however, need the most work (obviously), and providing specific treatment plans and duties to reform them is also part of the warden's to-do list. The game includes an Escape Mode, wherein the player attempts to break out of their own maximum-security prison. There's also an Online Mode with over 12,000 prisons from wardens across the world to explore.

Factorio

Prepare to clock in early to get as many hours as possible (some playtimes range from hundreds to thousands of hours on Steam) in this addicting factory builder. At the outset, simple tasks include tree chopping, ore mining, and mechanical crafting. Soon thereafter, the industrial revolution will be in full force as a small venture becomes a mechanized powerhouse. The modding capabilities in Factorio are also vast in number: should the provided maps and scenarios not suffice, there's the option to build or venture into other player's designs. Factorio is a pure management sim that has the possibility of immersing a person for days, months, years...and most players don't seem to want to clock out anytime soon.

DRAGON QUEST BUILDERS 2

Don't let the "2" deter you, DRAGON QUEST BUILDERS 2 is a block-building RPG sequel in name only. New characters, a huge world, nearly infinite building options, and a storyline that is very Square-Enix. The Children of Hargon imprisoned all the world's builders in an attempt to stop building, cooking, and even creating things. (Which begs the question: what do these kids do all day?) Luckily, the avatar managed to escape capture. Washed ashore on an island, the avatar is tasked with exploring, building, and defending the newly built towns from foes. Beyond the single-player campaign, there's a full multiplayer building mode to collaborate with others online.

Stardew Valley

Fed up with the monotony of the daily grind, you receive a letter that changes everything: you've inherited a plot of farmland from your grandfather! While it's definitely a fixer-upper, the farm will soon grow with the addition of crops and livestock. There are plenty of activities off the farm, too, including fishing, home design, and spelunking. The caves in Stardew Valley are deep and mysterious, with monsters and treasure (risk and reward) inhabiting the underground network. During downtime, tackle the similarly deep and mysterious realm of dating with 12 townsfolk you can court and possibly start a family with (extra farmhands, anyone?). ConcernedApe, the developer, has continuously updated the game throughout the years. A recent update included local (split-screen) co-op, a new island, a new farm layout, and much more that doesn't deserve spoiling.

Two Point Hospital

Remember Theme Hospital? Two Point Hospital is a sequel of sorts to the 1997 game with an addictive mix of management and oddity. With no shortage of humor, design ideal hospitals to care for the good—and seemingly deeply plagued—people of Two Point County. Diagnose, treat, and cure ailments including premature mummification and room-clearing brain farts. The game ramps up progression with aplomb from a small clinic to a fully functioning multi-building enterprise. As hospitals spring up across the county, the option to return and perfect prior endeavors is a welcome addition for those seeking three-star rankings.

Townscaper

Build a house or a replica of the Tower of Pisa in this simulation game that leans more in the creative toy specification with its lack of goals and rules. That said, there's building aplenty and gorgeous cityscapes just a few simple actions away. Choose colors, place blocks along the grid, and—depending on your placements—watch those blocks morph into homes, villages, and cities reaching the sky or the horizon or...really anywhere; it's a sandbox game, after all. Since there is no goal besides adding and removing blocks, relax and enjoy the experience—no one's going to judge if your Golden Gate Bridge looks more like a troll's crosswalk.

Fallout Shelter

Bethesda's first venture in free to play expanded on the ever-mysterious—and seemingly limitless—world of vaults in the Fallout universe. Take the role of Overseer and guide your vault to prosperity, all while keeping it safe from external harm (hello, Deathclaw tower defense). Dwellers possess unique characteristics, so identify their ideal role in the community and supplement with training, weapons, and outfits. Worthless junk becomes useful items with crafting, and single dwellers couple up to create...yes, more dwellers to contribute to the vault. Explore the wasteland for items, experience, and Caps. In this post-nuclear vault, you're not assistant to the regional manager, you ARE the manager; try to keep everyone alive.

Garden Story

Garden Story is more The Grapes of Task With a Li'l Wrath in this cozy simulator/Action-RPG. As Concord, a young grape resident, restore The Grove by exploring locations infested by Rot, building up your community and solving puzzles along the way. After dungeon crawling, explore the world and foster trust among residents to rebuild the island. Along the way, gathering materials, curating libraries, upgrading tools, and rebuilding structures is vital in reviving The Grove's ecosystem. With a sweet soundtrack, a host of colorful fruits and vegetables, and some mild (read: not spicy) dungeon-crawling combat, Garden Story is a quaint blend of adventure and maintenance.

Sunday, August 22, 2021

The Definitive Ranking of Jackbox Party Pack Games

With so many (six) games to choose from, I wanted to break them down from top to bottom. Behold, my ranking of the Jackbox Party Pack games in some particular order:


1. Jackbox Party Pack

Well, it makes sense to kick it off with the first one. And with that, I'll highlight the first iteration of the drawing game, Drawful. You don’t need to be the Leonardo DaVinci of finger doodling, but you do need to interpret various outlandish phrases the best you can. From there, the other players try to figure out the phrase for what was drawn. It’s sorta like that game Telephone played in schools; except in this case, you not only get points for guessing the original phrase, but you may get bonus points for being THAT SILLY GUY.

 

Leonardo is judging your mobile phone penis drawing skills.


2. Jackbox Party Pack 2

In this definitive ranking, I'm keeping it short and sweet so you don’t get a neck strain. I'll let Quiplash XL, one of the featured games in Jackbox Party Pack 2 do that. In Quiplash XL, players are given different prompts where you attempt to provide the cleverest response. Then, players vote for their favorite response for each prompt. Example prompt: “The worst song when stripping for a lover.” So, go forth and quip. I’ll just be playing Chopin’s “Funeral March” for...reasons over here.


3. Jackbox Party Pack 3

They say three’s a charm, and the Jackbox Party Pack 3 is the third game in the series, which features Trivia Murder Party, a game hosted by a crazed murderer with a passion for trivia. Answer questions correctly or face the Killing Floor, where you and other players fight to survive various mini-games. The last living player—and all the players’ ghosts, of course—then attempt to escape from the madman’s wrath by answering quick-fire trivia. Virtual murder and trivia—name a more iconic duo.


4. Jackbox Party Pack 4

Four scores and three games ago, there was not a fourth pack, but here we are now. The fourth game in the series includes Fibbage 3, which transports players to the groovy atmosphere of the 70s, a time when fibbing was a part of daily life in the White House. In Fibbage, your goal is to trick your friends into believing an absurd fact about a single piece of trivia. For example, William Shatner raised $25,000 for Habitat for Humanity by selling his ______. I’m gonna go with a single kidney stone for that one. Two Shatner stones would have been much higher

5. Jackbox Party Pack 5

Considered the fifth game in the series, the Jackbox Party Pack 5 contains one of the OGs: You Don’t Know Jack. For the uninitiated, this irreverent trivia show is hosted by Cookie Masterson with snark aplenty. Classics are classic for a reason, and the Jackbox team added some updates and surprises to keep things spicy. And if anyone knows spicy, it’s definitely Midwestern game developers.

6. Jackbox Party Pack 6

Ah, you’ve reached the end of the list, where the sixth party pack resides. JPP6 includes the new game, Push the Button, which will test the trust among you and your friends. Think Secret Hitler with aliens and a series of lie-detecting tests, and if Hitler was your friend who said some really out-of-character stuff for…Alien Hitler. It also includes another new favorite, Dictionarium, the game that you may have trouble pronouncing after the first syllable. (I learned you really need to commit after the first syllable.)

 

Well, that’s it. That’s my list. You may have noticed that Jackbox Party Pack 7 didn’t rank, but check back soon when a new version of this list will inevitably have to be completely reworked thanks to its release. (And/or I just haven't updated the article since I have not played 7 yet.)

Sunday, August 15, 2021

Stop Staring

 “Stop Staring” 

August 14, 2021 (Version #1)

Katie Casper


CAST

Julie - 30s

Chrissy - 30s

Marla - 30s

Male Kid (Leonardo) - 7ish

Kid’s mom - early 40s

Kid’s grandpa - late 60s


A group of friends is out to eat at a Thai restaurant having a normal chat. One of the friends, Julie, keeps noticing that a kid is staring at her, and she can’t focus away from that.


CHRISSY

I posted about skin cancer warning signs on my social media account, and each time I get a like, that charity will donate a nickel to our clinic.


MARLA 

That’s amazing, Chrissy, really. Umm… Julie, what are you looking at?


JULIE

That CHILD is staring at me. 


CHRISSY

Just ignore him, Julie.


JULIE

How can I? Just look at him! 

[cuts to kid simply looking in Julie’s direction]


MARLA

I mean, it’s really not a big deal. Kids look at stuff.

[kid continues staring, blankly, at Julie]


JULIE

Not like this, MARLA! [Julie begins staring back intensely.]


I WAS GETTING SOME THAI FOOD WITH MY COLLEAGUES AFTER WORK 

I FELT SOMEONE’S EYES ON ME, IT WAS THAT LI’L TWERP 

I KNOW KIDS STARE, I GET IT, IT’S JUST IN THEIR NATURE 

BUT THIS FELT PERSONAL AND HE LOOKED LIKE A YOUNG FRASIER 

IT’S BEEN A FEW MINUTES AND HIS EYES ARE STARTING TO CROSS

I’M GONNA WIN THIS STARING CONTEST AT ANY FUCKIN’ COST

MY EYES ARE GETTING TIRED, BUT I CAN’T QUIT

SLIPPING VISINE IS MY STRATEGY, I WON’T SUBMIT

MY VISION’S GETTING BLURRY, THERE’S DEBRIS IN MY EYE

I’M GONNA STARE THIS LI’L SHIT DOWN, TILL MY CORNEAS GOES DRY


CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN


I ENGAGED TOO LONG AND THE KID’S MOM IS STARING NOW TOO

SHE’S CHECKING ME OUT IN BETWEEN HER BITES OF PAD SEE EW

I SCAN THE RESTAURANT, PRETEND I’M LOOKING FOR OUR SERVER

BUT I’M REALLY DOING IT SO I CAN CLOSELY OBSERVE HER

STOP LOOKING AT ME, LADY, FOCUS ON YOUR TABLE

THIS DINNER STARING CONTEST GOT ME FEELING UNSTABLE


CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN


WE BROKE OUR GAZE, AND I THOUGHT I’D MOVE ON

BUT THEN I FELT THE UNEASY FEELING OF MORE EYES UPON

GREAT, NOW THE GRANDPA’S INVOLVED AND HE DOESN’T BLINK

I TRY TO HIDE MY FACE BEHIND MY FRIEND’S LARGE DRINK

IT’S LIKE A THOUSAND YARD STARE, SEARING DEEP IN MY SOUL

I’M NOT LOOKING AT HIS EYES, CUZ HE’S GOT A HAIRY MOLE

I EXAMINE IT, ANALYZE IT, IT MAY BE MELANOMA

I NEVER THOUGHT NOW WOULD BE THE TIME I’D USE MY DIPLOMA 


I APPROACHED THE TABLE, THEIR DISCOMFORT APPARENT

I LOOKED CLOSELY AT THE GRANDPA, AND TURNED TO THE PARENT


JULIE

Tell your kid to stop staring at me! I’m trying to enjoy my yellow curry with my friends, and he’s being very rude!


KID’S MOM

You’re the one staring at us.


JULIE

He started it!


KID’S MOM

Is that true, Leonardo?


LEONARDO

Yes. I started it. I’m sorry, lady. I didn’t mean to ruin your dining experience.


JULIE

It’s OK, kid. Just remember: a glance is all right, but once you go over a couple seconds, that’s crossing a line. Enjoy your dinner.


KID’S MOM

Thanks for your understanding, ma’am. It won’t happen again.

 

JULIE

It better not. [starts intensely staring and quickly breaks] Just kidding, folks.



IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN


end





Thursday, August 12, 2021

My Favorite Car

Narrator (female): All driving performed on open courses using a professional driver--

Neil, interrupting: That’s me, Neil Baloney! 

 

MY 16TH BIRTHDAY WAS THE BEST I EVER HAD

I GOT THE DOPEST PRESENT FROM MY MOM AND DAD

I PUT IN SO MANY HOURS OF DRIVER’S ED

ALL THOSE LAPS IN MARIO KART COUNT IN MY HEAD

MY FRIENDS LAUGH N SAY IT’S A HAND-ME-DOWN, A LOANER

BUT I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO’S A PT CRUISER OWNER

 

DRIVING DOWN THE STREET IN MY PRE-OWNED SET OF WHEELS

PASSING BY MY OLD MIDDLE SCHOOL, I GET ALL THE FEELS

NOW YOU’LL HAVE TO UPDATE THE CROSSING SIGN TO KIDS PAUSING

SOME DUDE PULLS UP IN A TWO SEATER CONVERTIBLE, HE’S STALLING

MERGING ONTO THE HIGHWAY, CHECK OUT THE SPEED LIMIT

PT BLAZES FROM 0 TO 60 IN [said quickly] ABOUT 5 TO 7 MINUTES

 

BRIDGE:

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, MY TRUNK SPACE’S WIDE, 

MY BUMPER STICKER SAYS PRECIOUS CARGO INSIDE 

MY PANELS ARE WOODEN, THEY GLISTEN IN THE SUN

I CAN FIT FIVE PEOPLE IN THE TRUNK, BEING DD IS A LOTTA FUN

THE BEETLE, THE MINI COOPER, JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS

THE VIBE, THE CUBE, NONE MATCH THE MAJESTY OF MY PT CRUISER

 

CHORUS:

GOTTA POWERFUL ENGINE AND FRONT WHEEL DRIVE

PULLIN’ THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU, HOLD THE HIGH FIVES

COMPACT SUV AND A TWO-DOOR CONVERTIBLE 

WHEN I’M ON THE ROAD, MY RIDE IS THE MOST DISCERNIBLE

1930S STYLING WITH A WOODIE PACKAGE

GLAD MOM DIDN’T GET THE FLAMES, THAT LOOK IS TOO SAVAGE

 

MY TRUNK SPACE IS WIDE, AND MY PANELS ARE WOODEN

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, TO AIR OUT THE SMELL OF URINE

I TOLD YOU THIS WAS MY PARENT’S CAR, YES THEY HAD A DOG

HIS NAME WAS LEROY AND HE WAS SHAPED LIKE A HOG

HE WAS SUCH A GOOD BOY, BUT HE HAD AN ACTIVE BLADDER

WE LIKE A CERTAIN BODY STYLE: THE WIDER, THE BETTER

 

FILLIN’ THE TANK UP, SPOTTED A BUNCH OF ONLOOKERS

GOTTA VACUUM THE INTERIOR OF ALL THE FLOOR SUGAR

CHECK OUT THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT

I GOT 45 NAPKINS, A NUTRIGRAIN BAR, AND A SINGLE GLOVE

[Chick at gas station] NEIL, IT’S A STATION WAGON, THROUGH AND THROUGH

EXCUSE ME, MISS? THAT’S A DREAM CRUISER TO YOU.

 

BRIDGE:

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, MY TRUNK SPACE’S WIDE, 

MY BUMPER STICKER SAYS PRECIOUS CARGO INSIDE 

MY PANELS ARE WOODEN, THEY GLISTEN IN THE SUN

I CAN FIT FIVE PEOPLE IN THE TRUNK, BEING DD IS A LOTTA FUN

THE AZTEC, THE THE BEETLE, JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS

THE CYBER TRUCK, THE PROWLER, NONE MATCH THE MAJESTY OF MY PT CRUISER

 

CHORUS:

GOTTA POWERFUL ENGINE AND FRONT WHEEL DRIVE

PULLIN’ THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU, HOLD THE HIGH FIVES

COMPACT SUV AND A TWO-DOOR CONVERTIBLE 

WHEN I’M ON THE ROAD, MY RIDE IS THE MOST DISCERNIBLE

1930S STYLING WITH A LEATHER INTERIOR

BECAUSE A CRUSHED VELVET FEEL IS SO MUCH SUPERIOR

Friday, July 30, 2021

My Favorite Family

Verse1

Sitting alone in my apartment again

I say I’mma lone wolf, but I really want a friend

When you have nowhere to turn, you gotta go home

I say I’m happy but I really feel alone

Get in my car, drivin’ in my used caddy 

There’s only one place for me, with the Gallo family 

 

Verse2

Walking down the aisles, I make sure to look down

There're other people here, but they’re just a buncha clowns

I’m on a mission for a fixin’ so I’m up in aisle nine

There’s lots of options here but I don’t need nothing fine

Red, white, blush, bubbly

There’s only one wine for me: yep: the Gallo family

 

Verse3

I get home by 6 o’clock with a collection of liters

I don’t drink out of glasses cuz the cleanup is neater

Gonna check my social channels, scrolling forever, it never ends

I have more human connection on here than with my real-life friends 

Nearly 500 followers, I reward them with a sultry selfie

There’s only one tweet from me, it stars the Gallo family

 

Verse4

The bottle nears its end and my lips are turning red

You should go to Taco Bell, said the li’l man in my head

I settled for Spaghetti-os, the Italian in me inspired

If I told you I actually cooked it, I’d be a fuckin’ liar

With a sauce that salty, you gotta pair it with something quickly

There’s only one drink for me, it’s from the Gallo family

 

Bridge

My mom is stressed out by everything, there’s only one fix

A beer, three cocktails, and by 5, a light water sip

Passed out on the couch, I thought my mom was always tired

Turns out a long day with Jim Beam was all she required

 

My stepdad drank a case of beer a day

(I only drink a few beers so it’s OK)

Things got so bad he had to be admitted to rehab

…I’m starting to think alcohol might be kinda bad

 

When I was 10, my dad went away, I thought he was sick

When I was 20, he relapsed hard, I knew what it is

Alcoholism is a disease, it can’t be cured

You live just your daily life, your past and future a blur

 

Verse5

I wake up feeling shitty, all too familiar a feeling

This whole day will now be dedicated to healing

Every time this happens, I swear it’s the last time

But those few fleeting hours felt so sublime

I didn’t feel alone, my inner turmoil far away

There’s only one cure for me, it’s the Gallo family

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Part XII - Conclusion

My first boss at Nintendo was Greg Everage. He was a misogynist bully who on a nearly daily basis belittled me, intimidated me, and caused me extreme distress.

It’s no coincidence that sexual assault was ultimately his undoing. HR consistently protected him up till then. That female coworker should have been protected. What happened to her...never should have happened. The warning signs were there and ignored over and over again. I wanted there to be change; I wanted to be that person who made a difference; I didn't want myself or anyone else to suffer. 

Let me be clear: I derived zero pleasure recounting these stories. I carried depression and anger on my shoulders for a long time. When I originally transferred in early 2017 to my new job, I gave myself a week to shorthand what had transpired (the blueprint of these stories). It was a form of therapy, I guess. Get it all out of your system. But isn't that what we are often tasked with doing in our culture as women: endure and move on. I want to see that cycle end in my lifetime.

Part XI - What Happened After

Greg's Departure

Eight months into my new job, I was on vacation in Greece. One morning, I received a slew of text messages from several of my company's colleagues. "Greg is gone!" "Greg got canned." "Did you hear what happened to Greg?!?!" What a way to jolt me out of my trip immersion and back to my least favorite topic from work. I let all who contacted me know I was on vacation, and I would follow-up with them when I was stateside. I knew, deep down, that he did something egregious enough to finally get fired...but what?

I know what happened by stringing together individual accounts from several colleagues--some who witnessed what happened and others who heard what happened through the grapevine. Greg Everage sexually assaulted a female staffer. It's not my story to tell, but suffice it to say, when I found out, I was disappointed but not surprised. I believe if HR (I talked to more than one HR rep, to be clear) took my complaints seriously (and perhaps whatever other feedback was provided about Greg), that this person wouldn't have been subjected to sexual assault. The warning signs were there, over and over and over again: Greg does not see women as equals. Greg intimidates women. Greg openly judges women's bodies. Greg belittles women. Greg treats his female staff like his personal secretaries. Greg discriminates against women. Yet, whenever I came forward with examples and evidence of this, HR labeled me the problem, the liability.

It took four business days until the company decided to fire Greg. Before he was walked out, he emailed some colleagues stating that he was leaving by choice and wanted to spend more time with his family. Smooth move, Greg. Not suspicious at all.

An employee who had to work with him after I transferred messaged me:

Claire: Hi Katie

Katie: Hey there! What's up?

Claire: Wanted to let you know that Greg is no longer with the organization. Can I just tell you it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. How did you last 2 years?! That's what I always wondered

Katie: Please, let's chat tomorrow. There's much, much I've wanted to tell you--but was too afraid. because I...tried. I really did.

Claire: Yes -- that'd be great

Katie: I'm glad you will finally get some normalcy. You deserve it.

Claire : I know. I'm definitely mixed emotions over here. 

Katie: Please enjoy your evening and the peace you'll have now. Oh man...

Claire: I know... so surreal! 


Where is he now?

He's employed at another major corporation doing who knows what. What I do know is people like this get fired from one job and jump to another, their dark history lost in a prior employer's HR folder. Toxic individuals given a chance to start anew. They masquerade as allies, publicly. And history, I know, will repeat itself when the past is abandoned.



Sure. He challenged who and what women can be by bullying, intimidating, mocking, harassing, belittling, and assaulting them.