How About Some Future Job Sabotage?
I started browsing other jobs within the company about six months after I started. I think when you’re unhappy with a situation (it being toxic and all), you can’t help but look for ways out. Looking toward a better future was partially how I stayed sane. My job was demoted to a personal assistant, I was bullied constantly, I was insulted and made to feel guilty because of my medical appointments and injuries—seeking out hope was a necessity for survival. However, I was so focused on getting out, I often lost sight of how to properly position myself. I made sloppy mistakes in my desperation, and a couple opportunities slipped before they had a chance to stand.
When my colleague, Cindy, posted her two-week notice in the fall of 2016, my need to get out grew urgent. I was tasked with all of her responsibilities, working my job, and as far as Greg Everage was concerned, still being his assistant. About a month after she left, I saw a job posting that interested me. When I asked confidantes if it would be a good fit, everyone resoundingly agreed. I also chatted with someone on the team, getting confused "WTF? NO!" answers to important questions like, "Is your boss a terrible person who belittles and abuses their female colleagues both personally and professionally?" I'm paraphrasing.
Knowing the manager on that team received the "this person is good and--better yet--normal" seal of approval from many trusted individuals, I applied for the job, knowing this would be the last time at this company. I soon interviewed with the manager (let's call them Cory) and each team member; feeling good after the interviews, I felt that hope, my passion stir again.
A couple weeks later, Cory let me know that we reached the point where they would need to work out a transition plan with Greg. I was elated. I let them know that Greg knew I applied for the position and would support the transfer.
I’m thinking if you’re Greg, you want to get rid of this rock in your shoe, this glass in your foot, this blister on your toe. This person who calls you out whenever you’re rude, disrespectful, inappropriate… I didn’t expect Greg to give me a glowing review, but I expected he’d be neutral.
A couple days after Cory's chat with Greg, two of my colleagues asked to speak with me. They each told me the same story: Cory contacted them about what Greg said about me:
- I’m difficult to work with,
- I’m not a team player, and...
- I don’t respect authority.
Funny thing is, all of those traits were inherent to Greg. I worked hard to be a valued team member, I enjoyed helping those around me, and I respected the authority at work--but I did not ACCEPT when I was bullied or harassed regardless of authority. Moreover, I was asked to work and participate in many projects outside of my group because colleagues touted my work ethic and insightful contributions.
The narrative that Greg put out was false and could cost me the job. But what could I do? Report slander to HR? And be told:
- Oh, Greg didn't mean what he said negatively but rather to look out for you and your best interest.
- Greg has a mother in his life, and she's female--like you! He respects woman because of that fact.
- Katie, you need to learn to be subordinate at certain times. There is a hierarchy that you have to respect.
- (These are not exactly hypotheticals.)
I thought there would be no escaping Greg. The only escape was to resign--go home. The dream wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I resolved that if I didn’t get the position, which seemed likely, I would resign.
Luckily, Cory was savvy enough to realize Greg was lying and kind enough to listen to my peers--the truth made itself apparent. Cory had good conversations with each colleague about who I was as a person and an employee. My colleagues conveyed that I was a hard worker; that I adored the company, the games, and the people; and that I had a lot of promise. Unfortunately, I worked for a terrible manager, a person not well-liked in the organization, who took out his frustration on me. A situation that no one could (or ever did) succeed in.
In early January 2017, I accepted my new role.
Let's Update the Job Again
I worked for and was bullied by Greg Everage for 2 years and 9 months.
Before I started, there was the job I applied to: a contributor and creator of marketing content. After I expressed confusion over what I was doing (admin work) with what was outlined in my job description, Greg updated it to focus on managing video content (something he knew I had little experience in). That was the first update to my job within the first year. We'll call that revision the "2014 job update."
During my last week, HR conducted a team improvement meeting. Out of the topics discussed, one main point of confusion was MY JOB and how it fit in with the broader team and organization. Everyone present--including myself, two of our remote colleagues, and Greg—had a different explanation of what my job was.
Greg put the blame on me. He said that someone must want to learn to succeed in the role. You must have drive, and I didn't exhibit any. At that point, I was done fighting because 1) I didn't need to and 2) I was so damn tired of his antagonist ways. I sat back and listened. If Greg was a bus, I was the roadkill under it, and he drove back and forth over my corpse.
My two other teammates came to my defense expressing that I regularly asked for chances to learn and to be more involved in projects; problem was, I wasn’t given the resources to learn or the chance to actively participate in what the team did. They expressed that the "2014 job update" was the job equivalent of a manager with several years of video experience. They also stated the expectation for me to learn with no hands-on experience was unreasonable. This was the result of an incompetent, callous person in a leadership position allowed to manage people despite the array of red flags.
Ultimately, the job was updated again. In less than three years, my job had three different descriptions, and update 3.0 would be used to recruit my replacement. I thought to myself: 1) I hope they hire a man because a man would generate more respect from misogynistic Greg, and 2) I hope they don't suffer like Cindy or I did. I asked my colleagues to ensure my replacement would be protected, as much as they could offer protection from afar.
I wanted to tell the eventual new hires (one for Cindy, one for me) everything. I wanted to warn them: "DON'T ACCEPT THIS JOB." And after they accepted: "You're going to lose your sanity and self-worth because of Greg. He's going to confuse you, hurt you, frustrate you. You deserve better than what's coming." But I was too wary. I resolved that they would have to find out on their own like I did. In truth, Cindy's and my replacements would eventually learn I brought Greg's problematic behavior to HR's attention, and it did me more harm than good.
The Final Day
On my last day, Greg came by and told me how supportive he was of my move. He walked over, arms extended, posed to hug me. What's the equivalent of the kiss of death for hugs? The embrace of doom? I put my arm out, hand stiff. No. Don't fuckin' touch me, was my body language. And for once, he respected the signal. He wished me good luck and said he looked forward to seeing me thrive in my new role. Liar. Absolute two-faced coward. I smiled and thanked him. My next thought was, I never want to think about you again. (And just look what I'm doing! I must be a masochist.)
Gratitude
My new manager and team believed in me, believed in the truth. I am thankful that in the face of doubt, they trusted my ability, my honesty, and my loyalty. At first, my confidence was shot. But over time, I reverted back to the person I was before working for Greg.
My new leader helped build me back up. I remember once we were chatting about a project, and they stopped me as I asked for permission to do something. "Katie, why do you keep asking to do things, to make decisions, really, to do your job?" It was because I was conditioned to be submissive, to tiptoe around my boss, to be apprehensive to take the lead without being on a short leash. Of course, I was afraid of speaking ill of Greg (as it did me a world of wonders with HR), so I attributed it to growing pains with the new position. They said, "We hired you for this job because we know you can do it. And you are. So, do your job. If you're going off the rails, we'll let you know. And if you're going off the rails so early on, that's probably because we didn't equip you with the right tools or resources to do so. But for now, trust yourself, the way that we trust you. If you succeed, that's a reflection of our leadership; and if you fail, that's ALSO a reflection of our leadership." I needed to hear that so badly.
Those years working for my new manager and team were what I hoped for. I had a manager that empowered me to succeed, encouraged me to learn and grow, and helped me set goals and achieve them. I look back fondly at that time.
Well, what happened with Greg? Did he ever get his just deserts at this company?
Next up: Greg decides it's time to focus on family...or so he claims.
