The Definitive Ranking of Jackbox Party Pack Games

With so many (six) games to choose from, I wanted to break them down from top to bottom. Behold, my ranking of the Jackbox Party Pack games in some particular order:

1. Jackbox Party Pack

Well, it makes sense to kick it off with the first one. And with that, I'll highlight the first iteration of the drawing game, Drawful. You don’t need to be the Leonardo DaVinci of finger doodling, but you do need to interpret various outlandish phrases the best you can. From there, the other players try to figure out the phrase for what was drawn. It’s sorta like that game Telephone played in schools; except in this case, you not only get points for guessing the original phrase, but you may get bonus points for being THAT SILLY GUY.

 

Leonardo is judging your mobile phone penis drawing skills.

2. Jackbox Party Pack 2

In this definitive ranking, I'm keeping it short and sweet so you don’t get a neck strain. I'll let Quiplash XL, one of the featured games in Jackbox Party Pack 2 do that. In Quiplash XL, players are given different prompts where you attempt to provide the cleverest response. Then, players vote for their favorite response for each prompt. Example prompt: “The worst song when stripping for a lover.” So, go forth and quip. I’ll just be playing Chopin’s “Funeral March” for...reasons over here.

3. Jackbox Party Pack 3

They say three’s a charm, and the Jackbox Party Pack 3 is the third game in the series, which features Trivia Murder Party, a game hosted by a crazed murderer with a passion for trivia. Answer questions correctly or face the Killing Floor, where you and other players fight to survive various mini-games. The last living player—and all the players’ ghosts, of course—then attempt to escape from the madman’s wrath by answering quick-fire trivia. Virtual murder and trivia—name a more iconic duo.

4. Jackbox Party Pack 4

Four scores and three games ago, there was not a fourth pack, but here we are now. The fourth game in the series includes Fibbage 3, which transports players to the groovy atmosphere of the 70s, a time when fibbing was a part of daily life in the White House. In Fibbage, your goal is to trick your friends into believing an absurd fact about a single piece of trivia. For example, William Shatner raised $25,000 for Habitat for Humanity by selling his ______. I’m gonna go with a single kidney stone for that one. Two Shatner stones would have been much higher

5. Jackbox Party Pack 5

Considered the fifth game in the series, the Jackbox Party Pack 5 contains one of the OGs: You Don’t Know Jack. For the uninitiated, this irreverent trivia show is hosted by Cookie Masterson with snark aplenty. Classics are classic for a reason, and the Jackbox team added some updates and surprises to keep things spicy. And if anyone knows spicy, it’s definitely Midwestern game developers.

6. Jackbox Party Pack 6

Ah, you’ve reached the end of the list, where the sixth party pack resides. JPP6 includes the new game, Push the Button, which will test the trust among you and your friends. Think Secret Hitler with aliens and a series of lie-detecting tests, and if Hitler was your friend who said some really out-of-character stuff for…Alien Hitler. It also includes another new favorite, Dictionarium, the game that you may have trouble pronouncing after the first syllable. (I learned you really need to commit after the first syllable.)

 

Well, that’s it. That’s my list. You may have noticed that Jackbox Party Pack 7 didn’t rank, but check back soon when a new version of this list will inevitably have to be completely reworked thanks to its release. (And/or I just haven't updated the article since I have not played 7 yet.)

Stop Staring

 “Stop Staring” 

August 14, 2021 (Version #1)

Katie Casper

CAST

Julie - 30s

Chrissy - 30s

Marla - 30s

Male Kid (Leonardo) - 7ish

Kid’s mom - early 40s

Kid’s grandpa - late 60s

A group of friends is out to eat at a Thai restaurant having a normal chat. One of the friends, Julie, keeps noticing that a kid is staring at her, and she can’t focus away from that.

CHRISSY

I posted about skin cancer warning signs on my social media account, and each time I get a like, that charity will donate a nickel to our clinic.

MARLA 

That’s amazing, Chrissy, really. Umm… Julie, what are you looking at?

JULIE

That CHILD is staring at me. 

CHRISSY

Just ignore him, Julie.

JULIE

How can I? Just look at him! 

[cuts to kid simply looking in Julie’s direction]

MARLA

I mean, it’s really not a big deal. Kids look at stuff.

[kid continues staring, blankly, at Julie]

JULIE

Not like this, MARLA! [Julie begins staring back intensely.]

I WAS GETTING SOME THAI FOOD WITH MY COLLEAGUES AFTER WORK 

I FELT SOMEONE’S EYES ON ME, IT WAS THAT LI’L TWERP 

I KNOW KIDS STARE, I GET IT, IT’S JUST IN THEIR NATURE 

BUT THIS FELT PERSONAL AND HE LOOKED LIKE A YOUNG FRASIER 

IT’S BEEN A FEW MINUTES AND HIS EYES ARE STARTING TO CROSS

I’M GONNA WIN THIS STARING CONTEST AT ANY FUCKIN’ COST

MY EYES ARE GETTING TIRED, BUT I CAN’T QUIT

SLIPPING VISINE IS MY STRATEGY, I WON’T SUBMIT

MY VISION’S GETTING BLURRY, THERE’S DEBRIS IN MY EYE

I’M GONNA STARE THIS LI’L SHIT DOWN, TILL MY CORNEAS GOES DRY

CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I ENGAGED TOO LONG AND THE KID’S MOM IS STARING NOW TOO

SHE’S CHECKING ME OUT IN BETWEEN HER BITES OF PAD SEE EW

I SCAN THE RESTAURANT, PRETEND I’M LOOKING FOR OUR SERVER

BUT I’M REALLY DOING IT SO I CAN CLOSELY OBSERVE HER

STOP LOOKING AT ME, LADY, FOCUS ON YOUR TABLE

THIS DINNER STARING CONTEST GOT ME FEELING UNSTABLE

CHORUS:

LI’L KID STAREDOWN

I’M ENGAGING IN A…  LI’L KID STAREDOWN

BETWEEN BITES OF FOOD, THIS DUDE IS BEING RUDE

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

WE BROKE OUR GAZE, AND I THOUGHT I’D MOVE ON

BUT THEN I FELT THE UNEASY FEELING OF MORE EYES UPON

GREAT, NOW THE GRANDPA’S INVOLVED AND HE DOESN’T BLINK

I TRY TO HIDE MY FACE BEHIND MY FRIEND’S LARGE DRINK

IT’S LIKE A THOUSAND YARD STARE, SEARING DEEP IN MY SOUL

I’M NOT LOOKING AT HIS EYES, CUZ HE’S GOT A HAIRY MOLE

I EXAMINE IT, ANALYZE IT, IT MAY BE MELANOMA

I NEVER THOUGHT NOW WOULD BE THE TIME I’D USE MY DIPLOMA 

I APPROACHED THE TABLE, THEIR DISCOMFORT APPARENT

I LOOKED CLOSELY AT THE GRANDPA, AND TURNED TO THE PARENT

JULIE

Tell your kid to stop staring at me! I’m trying to enjoy my yellow curry with my friends, and he’s being very rude!

KID’S MOM

You’re the one staring at us.

JULIE

He started it!

KID’S MOM

Is that true, Leonardo?

LEONARDO

Yes. I started it. I’m sorry, lady. I didn’t mean to ruin your dining experience.

JULIE

It’s OK, kid. Just remember: a glance is all right, but once you go over a couple seconds, that’s crossing a line. Enjoy your dinner.

KID’S MOM

Thanks for your understanding, ma’am. It won’t happen again.

 

JULIE

It better not. [starts intensely staring and quickly breaks] Just kidding, folks.

IT’S THE LI’L KID STAREDOWN

end

My Favorite Car

Narrator (female): All driving performed on open courses using a professional driver--

Neil, interrupting: That’s me, Neil Baloney! 

 

MY 16TH BIRTHDAY WAS THE BEST I EVER HAD

I GOT THE DOPEST PRESENT FROM MY MOM AND DAD

I PUT IN SO MANY HOURS OF DRIVER’S ED

ALL THOSE LAPS IN MARIO KART COUNT IN MY HEAD

MY FRIENDS LAUGH N SAY IT’S A HAND-ME-DOWN, A LOANER

BUT I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO’S A PT CRUISER OWNER

 

DRIVING DOWN THE STREET IN MY PRE-OWNED SET OF WHEELS

PASSING BY MY OLD MIDDLE SCHOOL, I GET ALL THE FEELS

NOW YOU’LL HAVE TO UPDATE THE CROSSING SIGN TO KIDS PAUSING

SOME DUDE PULLS UP IN A TWO SEATER CONVERTIBLE, HE’S STALLING

MERGING ONTO THE HIGHWAY, CHECK OUT THE SPEED LIMIT

PT BLAZES FROM 0 TO 60 IN [said quickly] ABOUT 5 TO 7 MINUTES

 

BRIDGE:

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, MY TRUNK SPACE’S WIDE, 

MY BUMPER STICKER SAYS PRECIOUS CARGO INSIDE 

MY PANELS ARE WOODEN, THEY GLISTEN IN THE SUN

I CAN FIT FIVE PEOPLE IN THE TRUNK, BEING DD IS A LOTTA FUN

THE BEETLE, THE MINI COOPER, JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS

THE VIBE, THE CUBE, NONE MATCH THE MAJESTY OF MY PT CRUISER

 

CHORUS:

GOTTA POWERFUL ENGINE AND FRONT WHEEL DRIVE

PULLIN’ THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU, HOLD THE HIGH FIVES

COMPACT SUV AND A TWO-DOOR CONVERTIBLE 

WHEN I’M ON THE ROAD, MY RIDE IS THE MOST DISCERNIBLE

1930S STYLING WITH A WOODIE PACKAGE

GLAD MOM DIDN’T GET THE FLAMES, THAT LOOK IS TOO SAVAGE

 

MY TRUNK SPACE IS WIDE, AND MY PANELS ARE WOODEN

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, TO AIR OUT THE SMELL OF URINE

I TOLD YOU THIS WAS MY PARENT’S CAR, YES THEY HAD A DOG

HIS NAME WAS LEROY AND HE WAS SHAPED LIKE A HOG

HE WAS SUCH A GOOD BOY, BUT HE HAD AN ACTIVE BLADDER

WE LIKE A CERTAIN BODY STYLE: THE WIDER, THE BETTER

 

FILLIN’ THE TANK UP, SPOTTED A BUNCH OF ONLOOKERS

GOTTA VACUUM THE INTERIOR OF ALL THE FLOOR SUGAR

CHECK OUT THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT

I GOT 45 NAPKINS, A NUTRIGRAIN BAR, AND A SINGLE GLOVE

[Chick at gas station] NEIL, IT’S A STATION WAGON, THROUGH AND THROUGH

EXCUSE ME, MISS? THAT’S A DREAM CRUISER TO YOU.

 

BRIDGE:

MY TOP’S DOWN HALFWAY, MY TRUNK SPACE’S WIDE, 

MY BUMPER STICKER SAYS PRECIOUS CARGO INSIDE 

MY PANELS ARE WOODEN, THEY GLISTEN IN THE SUN

I CAN FIT FIVE PEOPLE IN THE TRUNK, BEING DD IS A LOTTA FUN

THE AZTEC, THE THE BEETLE, JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS

THE CYBER TRUCK, THE PROWLER, NONE MATCH THE MAJESTY OF MY PT CRUISER

 

CHORUS:

GOTTA POWERFUL ENGINE AND FRONT WHEEL DRIVE

PULLIN’ THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU, HOLD THE HIGH FIVES

COMPACT SUV AND A TWO-DOOR CONVERTIBLE 

WHEN I’M ON THE ROAD, MY RIDE IS THE MOST DISCERNIBLE

1930S STYLING WITH A LEATHER INTERIOR

BECAUSE A CRUSHED VELVET FEEL IS SO MUCH SUPERIOR