Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part XI - How He (Finally) Got Fired

Greg's Departure

Eight months into my new job, I was on vacation in Greece. Blissfully unaware of anything happening on the other side of the globe, the last thing I was thinking about was anything work related. Suddenly, I received a slew of text messages from several of my colleagues:

"Greg is gone!" 

"Did you hear what happened to Greg?!?!" 

"Grag just got "

What a way to jolt me out of my trip immersion and back to my least favorite topic from work! I responded to everyone that I was on vacation, and I would follow-up with them when I was stateside. I knew that he did something horrible enough to finally get fired...but what?

When I returned to the office, I deduced what happened by stringing together individual accounts from several colleagues—including one person who witnessed what happened and had to tell their account to HR: Greg Everage sexually assaulted a female colleague at an offsite work event.

If HR took my complaints seriously, I know this person would not have been subjected to sexual assault. The warning signs were there, over and over and over again: Greg does not see women as equals. Greg intimidates women. Greg openly judges women's bodies. Greg belittles women. Greg treats female staff like his personal secretaries. Greg discriminates against women. Yet, whenever I came forward with examples and evidence of this, HR labeled me the problem...the liability.

It took four business days until the company decided to fire Greg. 

During those days, he pushed his version of the truth to other colleagues, denying any wrongdoing. 

On his last day, he emailed some colleagues stating that he would be leaving by choice, claiming that he wanted to spend more time with his family. Smooth move. It won't be suspicious an ounce when you get walked out later that day.

Alana, the person who took over Cindy's role, messaged me when I returned to the office:

Alana: Hi Katie

Katie: Hey there! What's up?

Alana: Wanted to let you know that Greg is no longer with the organization. Can I just tell you it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. How did you last 2 years?! That's what I always wondered

Katie: Please, let's chat tomorrow. There's much, much I've wanted to tell you--but was too afraid. Because I...tried. I really did.

Alana: Yes -- that'd be great

Katie: I'm glad you will finally get some normalcy. You deserve it.

Alana : I know. I'm definitely mixed emotions over here. 

Katie: Please enjoy your evening and the peace you'll have now. Oh man...

Alana: I know... so surreal! 

Where is he now?

As of 2021, he's employed at another major corporation doing who knows what. What I do know is people like this get fired from one job and jump to another, their dark history lost in a prior employer's HR folder. Toxic individuals given a chance to start anew. They masquerade as allies, publicly, and history repeats itself when the past is abandoned.

Sure. He challenged who and what women can be by bullying, intimidating, mocking, harassing, belittling, and assaulting them. 

Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part X - Escape From Shit Mountain

How About Some Future Job Sabotage?

I started browsing other jobs within the company about six months after I started. When you’re unhappy with a situation, you can’t help but look for ways out. Looking toward a better future was partially how I stayed sane. However, I was so focused on getting out, I made amateur mistakes when applying to a couple roles— with extraordinary support at my back—and bungled the opportunities.

When my colleague, Cindy, posted her two-week notice in the fall of 2016, my need to get out grew urgent. I was tasked with all of her responsibilities, working my job, and as far as Greg Everage was concerned, still being his assistant. 

About a month after she left, I saw a job posting that interested me. When I asked confidantes if it would be a good fit, everyone resoundingly agreed. I chatted with someone on the team, getting confused "What the hell!? No!" answers to important questions like, "Is your manager an awful person who belittles and insults their female colleagues?" I'm paraphrasing.

Knowing the manager, Seth, on this prospective team received the seal of approval from many trusted individuals, I applied for the job, knowing this would be my last attempt. If this job didn't work out, I would quit at the end of the year.

I soon interviewed Seth and each team member; feeling good after the interviews, I felt that hope, my passion stir again.

A couple weeks later, Seth let me know that we reached the point where he would need to call Greg to work out a transition plan. I was elated. I let him know that Greg knew I applied for the position and would support the transfer.

I’m thinking if you’re Greg, you want to get rid of this rock in your shoe, this glass in your foot, this blister on your toe. This person who calls you out whenever you’re rude, disrespectful, inappropriate... I didn’t expect Greg to give me a glowing review, but I expected he’d be neutral. 

A couple days after Seth's chat with Greg, two of my colleagues asked to speak with me. They each told me the same thing: Seth contacted them to discuss what Greg said about me. He advised Seth NOT to hire me, citing that he's already down a team member and needs my help. Additionally, and most egregiously, he told Seth:

• I’m difficult to work with,
• I’m not a team player, and...
• I don’t respect authority. 

Ironically, all of those traits were inherent to Greg. I worked hard to be a valued team member, I enjoyed helping those around me, and I respected the authority at work—but I did not ACCEPT when I was bullied or harassed. Moreover, I was asked to work and participate in many projects outside of my group because colleagues touted my work ethic and insightful contributions.

The narrative that Greg put out was false and could cost me the job. But what could I do? Report slander to HR? And be told (these are not hypotheticals):

• Oh, Greg didn't mean what he said negatively but rather to look out for you and your best interest. 
• Greg has a mother in his life, and she's woman—like you! He respects woman because of that biological fact.
• Katie, you need to learn to be subordinate to Greg. There is a hierarchy that you have to respect.

HR was the last place I would go by choice.

It felt so unfair. There would be no escaping Greg and his control over my fate. The only escape was to resign and go home...

I heard nothing for weeks. I held onto hope, and during a call with a producer at one of our agencies, he said, "Congratulations on your new position!"

"Excuse me? What new position?"

"Greg said that you were moving to Redmond and accepted a new role. That's so good for you! You deserve it so much. We're all very happy to hear that you're...well, you know you deserve thiis."

"Oh, I mean, I- I didn't know the offer was official, but thank you for telling me! This is wonderful news!" 

And that's how I learned I got the job. A producer at an external agency told me during a phone call. I got an official email from HR a couple days later.

Seth was savvy enough to realize Greg was lying and kind enough to listen to my peers—the truth made itself apparent. Seth had good conversations with each colleague about who I was as a person and an employee. My colleagues conveyed that I was a hard worker; that I adored the company, the games, and the people; and that I had a lot of promise. Unfortunately, I worked for a terrible manager, a person not well-liked in the organization, who took out his frustration on me. A situation that no one could (or ever did) succeed in. 

I learned that Dan, the senior vice president who helped me, also conveyed to the vice president of Seth's group that I was the victim of a shitty situation—an ambitious, charismatic worker stuck under the leadership of an incompetent, insecure manager.

In early January 2017, I accepted my new role.

 

Let's Update the Job...Again

During my last week working for Greg, HR conducted a team improvement meeting. Out of the topics discussed, one main point of confusion was my job and how it fit in with the broader team and organization. Each person present—myself, two of our Washington colleagues, and Greg—had a different summary of my job.

Before I started, there was the job I applied to: a contributor and creator of marketing content. After I expressed confusion and frustration over what I was doing (admin work), Greg and HR updated the role to focus on managing video content (something he knew I had little experience in). That was the first update to my job title and responsibilities, which happened within six months of my hire date. That's the "2014 Job Update."

How can four people have four different understandings of a job? Greg put the blame on me. He said that someone must want to learn to succeed in the role. You must have drive, and I didn't exhibit any. 

I didn't argue because I didn't need to. I accepted my new role and was set to move on from the nightmare; but also, I was so damn tired of his antagonist ways. I sat back and listened, unbothered. If Greg was a car, I was the roadkill under it, and he drove back and forth to confirm the kill. My little roadkill soul had already ascended. The body can't feel any pain.

My two teammates came to my defense expressing that I regularly asked for chances to learn and to be more involved in projects. I wasn’t given the resources to learn or opportunities to actively participate in what the team worked on. They expressed that the "2014 Job Update" was the equivalent of a manager with several years of video experience. They also stated the expectation for me to manage—really, to understand—the details and nuances of their projects with no hands-on experience was unreasonable.

Ultimately, the job was updated again. In less than three years, one job had three different descriptions, and "Update #3" would be used to recruit my replacement. I asked my colleagues to ensure my replacement would be protected from Greg, as much as they could offer protection from afar. 

During that last week, I interviewed my potential replacements. I wanted to warn them: "Don't accept this job! You will lose your sanity and self-worth because of Greg. He's going to confuse you, hurt you, frustrate you. You deserve better than what's coming." Feeling wary, I resolved that they would have to find out on their own like I did. 

Also during that week, I trained Cindy's replacement, Alana. She would eventually learn I brought Greg's problematic behavior to HR's attention, and it did me more harm than good. 

The Final Day

On my last day, Greg came by and told me how supportive he was of my move. He walked over, arms extended, posed to hug me. What's the equivalent of the kiss of death for hugs—the embrace of doom? I put my arm out, hand stiff. No. Do not touch me, was my body language. And for once, he respected the signal. He wished me good luck and said he looked forward to seeing me thrive in my new role. Liar. Absolute two-faced liar. I smiled and thanked him. My next thought was, I never want to think about you ever again.

Gratitude

My new manager and team believed in me, believed in the truth. I am thankful that in the face of doubt, they trusted my ability, my honesty, and my loyalty. My confidence was shot. But over time, I reverted back to the person I was before working for Greg.

My teammates and new leader, Seth, helped build me back up. I remember once we were chatting about a project, and he stopped me as I asked permission to do something.

"Katie, why do you keep asking to do things, to make decisions, really, to do your job?" 

I was conditioned to be submissive, to tiptoe around my boss, to be apprehensive to take the lead without being on a short leash. I was afraid of speaking negatively about Greg, so I attributed it to growing pains with the new position. 

Seth said, "We hired you for this job because we know you can do it. And you are. So, do your job. If you're going off the rails, we'll let you know. And if you're going off the rails so early on, that's probably because we didn't equip you with the right tools or resources to do so. But for now, trust yourself, the way that we trust you. If you succeed, that's a reflection of our leadership; and if you fail, that's ALSO a reflection of our leadership." 

I needed to hear that so badly.

Those years working on that team were all I ever hoped for. I had teammates and a leader that empowered me to succeed, encouraged me to learn and grow, and helped me set goals and achieve them. I look back fondly at that time.

Well, what happened with Greg? Did he ever get his just deserts at this company?

Next up: How He (Finally) Got Fired

Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part IX - Retaliation

With coaching, Greg Everage was becoming more tolerable. He didn't treat me better by choice, though, which sours the sincerity behind each interaction. Regardless, I finally saw a glimpse of normalcy in our dynamic. You can forgive, but you can't forget how someone treated you. There would always be a lack of trust between us.

In June 2016, I had my annual review. I acknowledged and agreed with the written contents. When we discussed my review over the phone, Greg said that the incident on January 22 impacted my bonus and negatively affected my reputation to senior leadership.

I was shocked. An incident—where I reported to management that I felt harassed and bullied—impacting my annual review felt retaliatory. The other comment seemed intended to hurt me.

I took a moment to process the implications of what he claimed—wondering why I kept fighting further.

Katherina. Katie. Kate. Stop. Nothing you said changed anything. Nothing changed. Stop fighting.

Despite knowing the results would likely not be in my favor, I decided to pursue based on the company guidelines. It did not make sense that my bonus would be impacted because I raised a potentially discriminatory issue to the powers that be. My approach was to have Greg elaborate about the impact by asking how that incident related.

"If you feel you, or any other employee, has been discriminated against or harassed, you should immediately speak with your supervisor, any member of management, or a member of the HR... You will not be subject to any retaliation for reporting the complaint."

Later that week, Greg and I chatted in person. He said that the incident caused disruption at work—that's why my bonus was impacted. Other people were affected and the office suffered because of that. I didn't want to challenge him. I only wanted his confirmation that the situation negatively impacted my review. As much as the continued conflict drained me, I set up a meeting with HR to convey that Greg was retaliating against me.

 

 

I explained everything to HR. I reinforced that the incident was handled—in good faith—as outlined by company policy. And the incident was being used to retaliate against me, via my bonus, with Greg confirming as such. HR said they would speak with him to get clarification.

A week later, I received an update from HR: 

• Greg told HR that it didn't monetarily affect my bonus. 
• That doesn't make any sense. If it negatively impacted my bonus, what other way is there than monetarily?
• HR held their ground saying it didn't affect my bonus because he told them it didn't. It was just an incident that occurred during that review period.
• I held my ground saying if it was part of the bonus consideration, it had impact—and it shouldn't.
• HR then asked if I felt I was harassed on January 22. 
• I said yes. 
• HR said the incident was possibly not investigated properly. (To be fair, this particular HR representative was not working for the company at the time.) 

HR stated they would initiate an investigation. I was surprised they didn't in the first place.

A few weeks later, I had another meeting with HR. The rep said, "I asked Greg point-blank if it was retaliation, and he said 'of course not,' so it wasn't about that."

My goodness. No one will admit to retaliation if you spell it out like that. When I inquired about how they felt regarding his continued condescending and discriminatory treatment of women, the rep's response was: "Greg has a wife and daughters. Do you really think he would discriminate against women?" 

I was shocked—absolutely floored by that response. Greg has a wife and daughters, so everything that happened to me and other women...was invalid.

My hope depleted, I was more determined than ever: I had to get out.

Next up: Escape From Shit Mountain

Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part VIII - Later That Week

At a department meeting on January 22, 2016, Cindy asked if our team would ever reside in one location. Greg answered her question. The meeting continued.

Later in the hallway, I overheard Greg asking Cindy if she asked that question on my behalf. She said she did not, and I came by affirming that I did not ask her. Greg laughed, saying that he knows I made her ask. I once again said I didn't. Greg walked away announcing in the hallway, "Whatever you say, Katie. Everyone knows you want to move away from here."

Regardless of my thoughts on relocating (really, anywhere to escape him), I didn't appreciate his dismissive attitude toward Cindy and me. It was his norm, but something about it happening in front of other employees made the hostility hit differently. It's not OK for him to attack me. And I have a right to answer his attack. One would argue, actually, I have an obligation to answer his attack.

I walked over to his office and asked if we could talk.

"Why do you target me? What you said about me, it's not true. Here's the actual truth: Each day, I show up as my best self, with my best intentions, and I do my job the best that I can. Please see me for who I am."

Seeing the grimace on his face, I knew his response would not be kind. You don't have the right to ask these questions. He wouldn't give me a straight answer:

• Greg told me that he was right and I was wrong. He said that I wanted to move, and I told Cindy to ask for me. 
• I repeated that it was her question, and if the question offended him, he should speak with her.
• He disagreed, saying I talked about moving “all the time.” He insisted he was right. 
• I said I wished he would believe me, asking how we can work together to build back trust.
• He then said I was too sensitive and should relax. I was making a big deal out of nothing.
• I said I was being civil and calling me too sensitive was unfair.
• Greg then said he was joking the whole time.
• Was this the part where I give in and laugh?
• I asked why he couldn't talk to me with kindness. I came to talk human-to-human, and the whole conversation had me feeling worse than before.
• He continued to reiterate that I should learn to take a joke as I left his office.

I returned to my desk, frustrated and saddened. Why couldn't I have an open, honest conservation with this person? Why couldn't I work with a manager who respected me enough to speak with me, not down at me?

About ten minutes later, I jumped on a call with Greg and several other colleagues. I found that I couldn't concentrate on work, so I did what I believed was right if you felt harassed and intimidated. I messaged and called HR but did not hear back that morning. (We didn't have an HR representative based in our office at the time. HR replied at 1:17 p.m., after I left the office.)

The next option was speaking to a member of management staff. I messaged Tom in my department and didn't get a response. I then asked Cora, another manager in my department,  to meet with me.

I explained the situation to her. We decided that going home to have physical separation from Greg—and wait to hear from HR—was the best option. Cora said she would handle speaking to Greg or whoever else she needed to inform. I left shortly thereafter, telling a couple of my teammates that I was going home for the day.

 

Once I arrived home and collected my thoughts, I emailed HR detailing the incident. There was already a pending discussion about Greg's continued bullying and intimidation planned for next week.

--

 

Next week during the meeting with HR, I talked about the recent incident, specifically what happened on January 22. They said my reaction was fine, but in the future, perhaps there was a better way for me to handle the situation. 

I said that I entered the conversation diplomatically and hoped to come to a mutual understanding. I told them he employed classic schoolyard bully tactics instead of conversing with me respectfully and kindly.

I reiterated to HR that this was a pattern indicative of his hostile behavior toward women.

HR requested I think about and answer three questions: 

• What are the three hindrances to my current job? 
• Is this the right job for me? 
• Is this the right company for me? 

In retrospect, those are alarming questions. They were implicitly signaling that I wasn't a good fit. In the image below, I blacked out much of my responses, since they contain confidential information.

If #3 was answered truthfully, I would have written: Greg, Greg, Greg.

Was I fated to be another statistic? Another woman pushed to leave her job because a misogynist bully was being protected and a toxic work environment was allowed to flourish unfettered. The blame was shifting away from Greg. I was not responsible for Greg's toxic behavior, but I was expected to keep things copacetic.

Thankfully, my meeting with Dan, the Senior Vice President, was later that week. After Colleen debriefed him on our conversation, including what she witnessed the past two years, Dan and I sat down to chat.

I told Dan everything, from the beginning: It started out as poorly-managed job onboarding, then devolved into Greg using me as his secretary, and then my job description and title changed four months into my tenure. I outlined Greg's misogynistic managerial style and some of Greg's inappropriate comments about me and many of our female colleagues. 

He listened. He asked questions. He understood how frustrating the past couple years were for me. He said things would improve, and he would lead the charge to ensure that happened. He thanked me for having the courage to speak up. He would check-in regularly. 

...And he did. Dan, so busy with running our entire office, was the first person who took the time to bring about positive change. Not just for me, but for the team, the company, and if he cared, for Greg as well.

My conversation with Dan gave me hope that there were genuine, decent people in positions of power. Of course, I lamented that I couldn't work directly for such a person.

HR confirmed that Greg was being coached regularly, telling me that the company president had been made aware of the issues. It was discomforting rather than reassuring. I didn't want more people to know what was going on; I wanted it to stop. I wanted to go into work, do my job, and go home feeling satisfied, excited to return the next day. I didn't want to be known for this. 

One thing I've learned from that day and the subsequent fallout, it's people who call you the villain for standing your ground are not your people. When I remained calm, simply asking why Greg targeted me with a lie, never receiving a straightforward answer, I walked away with grace. I never let rage take over. Even still, I was the antagonist for simply asking the question: Why do you treat me poorly?

Of course, in a world with hindsight and time travel, I would turn the interrogative into an imperative: Do not treat me poorly.

Next up: Retaliation

Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part VII - January 19, 2016

The week of January 18, 2016, was one of my worst. Afterward, I seriously discussed my resignation with family and friends if I couldn't transfer to another job. My friend's mom, who worked in HR for over 35 years, strongly encouraged me to leave, citing her observed incompetent handling of every issue I shared with her. 

I desperately wanted to make things work, though. My entire life, I fought to get to this company, and this was my story? This one guy was going to torpedo everything I worked toward?

As an aside, when you seek out other opportunities within a company, people talk. People knew that Greg and I didn't get along. Cindy couldn't stand him either, but she did a better job of masking her displeasure. Our four Washington teammates had the pleasure of hundreds of miles between them and Greg. 

What I hoped, was that prospective hiring teams saw how much love I had for the company, the games, and most importantly, the people. I adored the people I worked with, befriending many of them; I proved time and time again that I was a valuable resource on many projects outside of my team; and I collaborated well with people, building trust and good relationships across the organization. 

Greg Everage did none of that: he didn't like the people, he didn't like the games, he had zero trust, and he had few genuine relationships. Regardless, it seemed the situation was lose-lose for me. He was my boss. And as much as I tried to break through, his shadow was all-pervasive.

Tuesday, January 19

Our team had a regular weekly meeting at 10:30 on Tuesday mornings. On this day, Greg emailed the team earlier saying he was coming in late, and he greeted me in person around 10:15. He didn’t mention anything about rescheduling the meeting. At 10:30, I dialed into the call with the remote team, and after a few minutes, we noticed Greg hadn't called in. I ran over to his office—not there. I ran over to the break room—not there either. I ran back to my desk and we, as a team, resolved to continue the meeting in lieu of waiting. They had a lot on their plate and asked not to reschedule. They requested that I recap Greg whenever he resurfaced.

We ended the call around 10:45. Greg came by my desk five minutes later. He asked when our team meeting was. I told him it was at 10:30, our usual time, and I didn't know where he was. I took notes and could recap him.

• Greg told me I handled the situation incorrectly. He was angry that I didn’t do everything in my power to ensure he was there for the meeting. 
• I told him I went to find him in his office and the break room and he wasn't at either location.
• He asked where else I looked. I said I walked nearly the entire office besides the men's bathroom. 
• He said I should have checked in there. He told me I was personally responsible for him missing that meeting. Greg raised his voice to the point in which I was shocked, uncomfortable, and embarrassed.
• I was at my cube, and I noticed the co-workers near me went silent as he spoke.
• I tried to defend myself, explaining that the team made the decision.
• As usual, he told me to stop being defensive and do my job, which I was once again failing. I was cowering in my seat.

I was visibly upset after that conversation: Cindy asked me if I was OK over Skype, saying the way he spoke to me made her sick. 

Colleen, a colleague that sat on the opposite side of the aisle, reached out over Skype to help. She reported into the Senior Vice President, Dan, the head honcho in our office.

On Wednesday morning, Colleen and I sat down to chat a local coffee shop. I reviewed everything, and she said she would communicate everything to Dan. 

I will always be thankful for Colleen. She was the first person who truly made an effort to help with Greg's bullying beyond lip service. Thank you for taking action.

What I told HR about this incident: 

Unfortunately, the pattern of disrespect has not improved over the past couple months with Greg. There was an incident on Tuesday I want to bring to your attention that made me feel intimidated. It made it difficult for me to concentrate on work, but luckily I had the opportunity to demo at a media event later that day and remove myself from the environment. This is not the first time this happened. Greg expects me to function as his personal assistant and berates me if I don’t comply. I truly need to work with HR to find a solution.

Next up: Later that week...

Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part VI - Health and Confidentiality

Greg Everage said many inappropriate things during my time working with him. I suppose if you have a better relationship or sense of trust with someone, you look past the minor slights. Heck, depending on the tone, you likely see the intent is truly meant for laughs, not as insult. 

With him, though, there was never a sense of kindness or comedy with his tone. Everything was callous, intentional, and—for a work environment—inappropriate. Some of the more egregious examples regarded my health and doctor appointments. Year after year, he proved his inability to adhere to common sense guidelines regarding health privacy, and HR proved their inability to properly address his behavior and protect me.

Incident #1: For a neck injury I sustained in early 2014, a doctor ordered ten physical therapy appointments. I informed Greg about the appointments well in advance. I did my best to schedule them early in the morning or at the end of the day, although I had to schedule one appointment for 2 in the afternoon. I left at about 1:45, telling Greg I would be online after my appointment.

At the appointment, I sat around the waiting room until 2:30. I walked up to the receptionist, and she said my therapist went home after feeling sick. She mentioned if I waited for another therapist, I could be seen at 3. I figured I should stay since I was already there, and there were no meetings or projects due that day. I messaged Greg saying my appointment was taking longer than expected.

My appointment wrapped up a little after 4, and rush hour traffic set my drive time to twice its usual length. As I drove, I received several text alerts from Cindy. I didn't look or answer the texts until I was parked at the office parking lot at about 4:40.

First, I don’t know why he didn't contact me, especially after I told him my appointment was running late. 

Second, I get that my appointment went long, but he was inquiring about my whereabouts not out of concern, but because he wanted to know a pay order number immediately...from me. Information that he could look up. 

Afterward, I talked to him about how this all transpired, and what we could have done differently. For me, there was nothing to change. I informed of my appointment months in advance and provided an update on the delay. He agreed that I provided adequate information. I requested he communicate solely with me, not to involve other employees in my doctor appointments.

Incident #2: Not much to say here besides him making light of my physical therapy needs with another employee on the thread.

Incident #3: During our team video call, one of our colleagues mentioned that his eyes were tired from looking at a computer screen all day. I jokingly suggested he should take some time to gaze out a window or close his eyes to meditate.

Greg said, “Oh yeah, like all the time you take off for your neck.”

"What do you mean, Greg?" I said.

"You know, you take a lot of time off for your neck issues."

Cool. I hadn't told my ENTIRE team about my neck issues, and it wasn't Greg's call to inform them. 

I walked into Greg’s office, asking that he not discuss my health details to folks at work. I told him I shared those specifics in confidence, partially in hope of instilling trust between us. I still remember his reaction: “I’m so, so sorry. You know I didn’t mean to make fun of you. Of course, I will never do that again. Again, I'm sooooooo sorry that was embarrassing for you.”

I let HR know about the aforementioned incidents. I asked them if I was taking too much time for my appointments (again, it was ten, one-hour appointments over the course of a calendar year). They said they would handle the appropriate conversation with Greg, and confirmed that my sick time usage was approved and on the level.

Incident #4: Two weeks beforehand, I let Greg know that I had a procedure on February 2 and would email a reminder closer to the date. I also sent him a calendar invite for my appointment, so he had my time out-of-office on his calendar. Everything was done as he requested, and he approved via email and accepted the calendar invite.

I reminded him the Friday before via email, and he responded saying, "Let's chat about your appointment." 

I went in his office, and he asked that I reschedule my appointment since Cindy would also be out that day. He was concerned about having both of us out of the office at the same time and the burden that it placed on him.. I reiterated that this was a planned procedure, already approved, and rescheduling would delay important medical care. 

He conceded, but reinforced that moving forward, we could not be off on the same day, regardless of medical need.

Incident #5: My doctor ordered eight more physical therapy appointments in late 2015. At HR's recommendation, I alerted our leave specialist to gain approval via FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). These were hour-long appointments, twice a week. I booked them at the least disruptive times and always ensured I didn't fall behind on my work.

During our next meeting, I let Greg know I had more appointments coming up and would share the dates and times as he liked. 

He asked what I was doing at my appointments. 

I told him I didn’t want to talk about the nature of my appointments and apologized for needing to take more time off. 

He then asked if I wouldn't tell him because I was experiencing “lady issues.” 

I reiterated that I was not comfortable discussing, and it wasn't appropriate for him to ask.

Why is this still happening? I sent an email to HR, outlining Incident #5 and finished with this:

Here’s where I stand: As of now, Greg continues to breach my right to health privacy and discriminate against women. His behavior has not ultimately changed.

Greg has told me that "people are getting sick of my frequent HR trips." I don’t know who these people are—and I agree. I never asked for this treatment, but I’d be doing myself, any future individuals working with him, and the company a disservice by not reporting these serious issues.

I appreciate the action you’ve taken thus far. With that said, this is one of many similar incidents that continue to persist; it's a pattern unchanged. Is the company going to protect me from this ongoing pattern of conflict, including breaches to my personal health privacy?

I wasn't satisfied. I brought these instances to their attention several times over the past couple years. His behavior was not impacted by the apparent coaching, and I continued to be subjected to his defamatory, demeaning, and offensive interactions. 

I requested to be transferred to another supervisor or another team. HR said that wasn’t an option. All I continued to hear on repeat was, "This won't happen again."

Next up: January 19, 2016