Greg Everage blurred the line between appropriate and inappropriate things for a manager to say at work. Some of the more egregious examples regarded my health and doctor appointments.
Year after year, he proved his inability to adhere to common sense guidelines regarding health privacy, and HR proved their inability to properly address his behavior and protect me.
Incident #1: For an injury I sustained earlier in 2014, I arranged around 10 physical therapy appointments, and I informed Greg about them well in advance. I did my best to schedule them early in the morning or at the end of the day, although I had to schedule one appointment for 2 in the afternoon. I left at about 1:45, telling Greg I would be online after my appointment.
At the appointment, I sat around the waiting room for about 30 minutes until the receptionist summoned me, saying that my therapist went home ill. She mentioned if I waited for another therapist, I could be seen shortly. I figured I should stay since I was already there. There were no meetings or urgent projects due that day, anyway. I messaged Greg saying my appointment was going longer than expected.
Soon, I received a frantic series of texts from Cindy. Greg called her to inquire about details of my appointment and how much longer my appointment would be. At that time, I was driving on my way back to the office, so I didn't answer the texts until I was parked.
First, I don’t know why he wouldn’t contact me. Second, I get that the appointment took longer than usual, but he was inquiring about my whereabouts not out of concern that it was taking so long, but because he wanted to know a pay order number RIGHT THEN. Third, I talked to him afterward, and he agreed that I was giving him adequate information about my appointments. I requested he contact me and not involve other co-workers when I'm at the doctor.
Incident #2: Not much to say here besides him making light of my physical handicap and therapy needs.
Incident #3: I was on a phone call with our whole team and Greg. One of the team members mentioned his eyes were tired from looking at a computer screen all day. I jokingly suggested (hey, you should do this) he take time to look out a window or close his eyes to meditate throughout the day.
Greg said, “Oh yeah, like all the time you take off for your neck.” I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant, so I asked him to elaborate. He said, "You know, you take a lot of time off for your neck issues."
One problem: I hadn’t told those colleagues about my "neck issues," and it was up to me whether or not I told them. I walked into Greg’s office after the call, asking that he not discuss my health details to folks at work. I had shared with him in confidence some details of my injury, partially in hope of instilling trust between us. I still remember his reaction: “I’m SO, so sorry. You know I didn’t mean to make fun of you. Of course, I will never do that again. Again, I'm sooo sorry.”
I later let HR know about the above incidents. I figured they should know a member of management was infringing on their employee's right to health privacy and would give him the training he needed.
Incident #4: Two weeks in advance, I let Greg know that I had an appointment on February 2 and would email closer to the date--as was our team doctor appointment protocol. Cindy and I also had to book time on his calendar whenever we'd be out of office.
I reminded him the Friday before via email, and he responded saying he wanted to chat about the appointment. Because of previous breaches in trust, I was concerned about my privacy regarding the appointment. I asked him to elaborate on what we needed to discuss, and beyond saying that sick time needed to be approved beforehand, he would not. (Mind you, I told him two weeks prior and had booked my time off on his calendar without issue.)
I went in his office, and he requested that I move my appointment since Cindy would also be out that day. He was concerned about having to back up both of us. I reiterated that this was a planned procedure, booked far in advance, was already approved, and very necessary. He said it was OK, but we would need to ensure we didn't have simultaneous days off in the future. What this came down to was him not having either of his two assistants in the office.
Incident #5: My doctor ordered around eight more physical therapy appointments in late 2015. I alerted our leave specialist to gain approval via FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). These we hourlong appointments, twice a week. I booked them at the least disruptive times and always ensured I didn't fall behind on my work.
I let Greg know I had more appointments coming up and would share the dates and times. He said OK and then asked what I was doing at my appointments. I told him I didn’t want to talk about the nature of my appointments and apologized for needing to take more time off. He then asked if I wouldn't tell him because I was having “lady issues.” I reiterated that I was not comfortable discussing, and it wasn't appropriate for him to ask.
At this point in the timeline (we're in early 2016), I had been in contact with HR over 10 times regarding Greg's treatment of me and others. I was losing my patience.
Here’s what I sent to HR after he insinuated I was having lady issues:
Here’s where I stand: As of now, Greg continues to breach my right to health privacy and discriminate against women. His behavior has not ultimately changed.
Greg told me that "people are getting sick of my frequent HR trips." I don’t know who these people are—but I agree based on the nature of the trips. I never asked for this continued treatment, but I’d be doing myself, any future individuals working with him, and the company a disservice by not reporting these serious issues.
I appreciate the action you’ve taken thus far. With that said, this is one of many similar incidents that isn’t getting resolved. Is the company going to protect me from this ongoing pattern of conflict? Will the company act on his behavior where he repeatedly breaches my personal health privacy?
HR's response was constant verbal assurances that it wouldn’t happen again. I conveyed to them I wasn't satisfied. I had brought these instances to their attention multiple times over the past couple years with little to no recourse. His behavior was not impacted by the coaching and counseling they told me he had, and I continued to be subjected to his defamatory, demeaning, and offensive interactions. I requested to be transferred from Greg as my manager. HR said that wasn’t an option. All I continued to hear on repeat was: "this won't happen again."
Next up: January 18
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