Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part VI - Health and Confidentiality

Greg Everage said many inappropriate things during my time working with him. I suppose if you have a better relationship or sense of trust with someone, you look past the minor slights. Heck, depending on the tone, you likely see the intent is truly meant for laughs, not as insult. 

With him, though, there was never a sense of kindness or comedy with his tone. Everything was callous, intentional, and—for a work environment—inappropriate. Some of the more egregious examples regarded my health and doctor appointments. Year after year, he proved his inability to adhere to common sense guidelines regarding health privacy, and HR proved their inability to properly address his behavior and protect me.

Incident #1: For a neck injury I sustained in early 2014, a doctor ordered ten physical therapy appointments. I informed Greg about the appointments well in advance. I did my best to schedule them early in the morning or at the end of the day, although I had to schedule one appointment for 2 in the afternoon. I left at about 1:45, telling Greg I would be online after my appointment.

At the appointment, I sat around the waiting room until 2:30. I walked up to the receptionist, and she said my therapist went home after feeling sick. She mentioned if I waited for another therapist, I could be seen at 3. I figured I should stay since I was already there, and there were no meetings or projects due that day. I messaged Greg saying my appointment was taking longer than expected.

My appointment wrapped up a little after 4, and rush hour traffic set my drive time to twice its usual length. As I drove, I received several text alerts from Cindy. I didn't look or answer the texts until I was parked at the office parking lot at about 4:40.

First, I don’t know why he didn't contact me, especially after I told him my appointment was running late. 

Second, I get that my appointment went long, but he was inquiring about my whereabouts not out of concern, but because he wanted to know a pay order number immediately...from me. Information that he could look up. 

Afterward, I talked to him about how this all transpired, and what we could have done differently. For me, there was nothing to change. I informed of my appointment months in advance and provided an update on the delay. He agreed that I provided adequate information. I requested he communicate solely with me, not to involve other employees in my doctor appointments.

Incident #2: Not much to say here besides him making light of my physical therapy needs with another employee on the thread.

Incident #3: During our team video call, one of our colleagues mentioned that his eyes were tired from looking at a computer screen all day. I jokingly suggested he should take some time to gaze out a window or close his eyes to meditate.

Greg said, “Oh yeah, like all the time you take off for your neck.”

"What do you mean, Greg?" I said.

"You know, you take a lot of time off for your neck issues."

Cool. I hadn't told my ENTIRE team about my neck issues, and it wasn't Greg's call to inform them. 

I walked into Greg’s office, asking that he not discuss my health details to folks at work. I told him I shared those specifics in confidence, partially in hope of instilling trust between us. I still remember his reaction: “I’m so, so sorry. You know I didn’t mean to make fun of you. Of course, I will never do that again. Again, I'm sooooooo sorry that was embarrassing for you.”

I let HR know about the aforementioned incidents. I asked them if I was taking too much time for my appointments (again, it was ten, one-hour appointments over the course of a calendar year). They said they would handle the appropriate conversation with Greg, and confirmed that my sick time usage was approved and on the level.

Incident #4: Two weeks beforehand, I let Greg know that I had a procedure on February 2 and would email a reminder closer to the date. I also sent him a calendar invite for my appointment, so he had my time out-of-office on his calendar. Everything was done as he requested, and he approved via email and accepted the calendar invite.

I reminded him the Friday before via email, and he responded saying, "Let's chat about your appointment." 

I went in his office, and he asked that I reschedule my appointment since Cindy would also be out that day. He was concerned about having both of us out of the office at the same time and the burden that it placed on him.. I reiterated that this was a planned procedure, already approved, and rescheduling would delay important medical care. 

He conceded, but reinforced that moving forward, we could not be off on the same day, regardless of medical need.

Incident #5: My doctor ordered eight more physical therapy appointments in late 2015. At HR's recommendation, I alerted our leave specialist to gain approval via FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). These were hour-long appointments, twice a week. I booked them at the least disruptive times and always ensured I didn't fall behind on my work.

During our next meeting, I let Greg know I had more appointments coming up and would share the dates and times as he liked. 

He asked what I was doing at my appointments. 

I told him I didn’t want to talk about the nature of my appointments and apologized for needing to take more time off. 

He then asked if I wouldn't tell him because I was experiencing “lady issues.” 

I reiterated that I was not comfortable discussing, and it wasn't appropriate for him to ask.

Why is this still happening? I sent an email to HR, outlining Incident #5 and finished with this:

Here’s where I stand: As of now, Greg continues to breach my right to health privacy and discriminate against women. His behavior has not ultimately changed.

Greg has told me that "people are getting sick of my frequent HR trips." I don’t know who these people are—and I agree. I never asked for this treatment, but I’d be doing myself, any future individuals working with him, and the company a disservice by not reporting these serious issues.

I appreciate the action you’ve taken thus far. With that said, this is one of many similar incidents that continue to persist; it's a pattern unchanged. Is the company going to protect me from this ongoing pattern of conflict, including breaches to my personal health privacy?

I wasn't satisfied. I brought these instances to their attention several times over the past couple years. His behavior was not impacted by the apparent coaching, and I continued to be subjected to his defamatory, demeaning, and offensive interactions. 

I requested to be transferred to another supervisor or another team. HR said that wasn’t an option. All I continued to hear on repeat was, "This won't happen again."

Next up: January 19, 2016