Dream Company, Nightmare Boss — Part IV - The End of 2014

What Are Your Goals? 

Around October, a meeting was planned with Greg Everage to discuss my short- and long-term career goals. I chatted with my teammate, Cindy, and the department admin, Tara, about how those meetings work. They mentioned that it was a chance to discuss how you want to grow in your role and in the company with your supervisor. I planned to discuss the positives, the current disparity between my daily tasks and the job description and how to connect the dots, and also what opportunities I'd like to explore.

For my current role, I mentioned to Greg that I wanted the chance to lead projects. He told me I wasn’t ready, and when I asked what I needed to be ready, he told me “in time.” When I pushed further, he repeated himself. What I was asking for was the chance to do what was in the job description. So, I took a gamble: If there was no room for me to do what I signed up for, and no timeline of when I could, why not discuss other aspirations?

When we got into long-term career goals, I mentioned my passion for the company's games. I said one day I could see myself working closer with the product in brand marketing or localization. I was met with hostility. 

“Well, I don’t want to waste my time training you. It’s a lot of effort to invest, and I’d rather have someone that wants long-term. Why did you apply to this job? Why didn’t you apply to those roles? If those hiring managers came down right now and offered you a job, you’d just leave, then. Training is a lot of work—I don’t think you realize. I’d rather you leave sooner than later so I don’t waste my time.” 

I kept reiterating that I wanted to learn and grow in my current role, but I was not receiving any opportunities to do so. This was absolutely true. I WANTED the job I applied for; I did NOT want the job he devolved mine into.

Thereafter, this was a source of tension between us. Greg was convinced I accepted my job as an "in" for the company. It wasn't that. My survival instinct kicked in, and I sought out hope, only wanting respite from him. I worked for a nightmare boss at my dream company.

The Department Code Incident

This situation is challenging to describe, but I'll do my best. Bullets seem to help.

• In early November 2014, Greg went up to Washington for a video shoot. In advance of the trip, Cindy showed me how to create a requisition from the department budget for him to use for related expenses (think: an account specifically for related staffing, resources, materials, props, etc.). 
• This information, including the code, was shared with Greg.
• The morning of the shoot, Greg emailed Becca in the contracts department asking for our department's codes. No further context. She expressed that she didn't have that information, stating that he should have and should know this information. Becca suggested he ask Cindy, since she formerly was the department admin.
• Greg then emailed both Cindy and me asking for "the department code" to pay for his breakfast. At that time, I was in the restroom, so Cindy resent the code we created together, expressing that travel meals are reimbursed and he should keep his receipt.
• Greg insisted what she sent was wrong, asked her for a different code, and asked about my whereabouts. 
• When I returned to my desk, I saw the back and forth. I walked over to the office accountant, Dan, and described what was going on. Dan said while Cindy wasn't wrong, the company strongly preferred reimbursement, and asked me to reinforce this to Greg.
• I typed up Dan's suggestion, updating the email thread.
• Greg responded, declining Dan's suggestion, and demanded that I get the right code. 
• I went over to chat with Dan again, and he stated the only code—and only other option—was what Cindy initially shared. He said if Greg had further questions, he should reach out to him directly. Finally, someone with some sense.
• I emailed Dan's second recommendation to Greg. (There are only two options: Reimburse or use the code Cindy shared with you.) I provided Dan's phone number, saying if he needed further clarity, it'd be best for them to chat directly about the company's policy.
• Minutes later, my work phone rang. It was Greg. 
• He asked why it was so hard for me to understand his request.
• He asked how I couldn't understand simple questions. 
• He said I wasn’t performing my basic job responsibilities. 
• He said he received feedback from many members of the team that I was not meeting expectations.
• He was very displeased that I didn't have the answers I should.
• Hearing all that hurt my insides, but I let him finish without interruption. It wasn't that it was coming from him; I didn't care about his opinions. It was that none of it made any sense. Nothing he said ever made any sense!
• When Greg finished telling me the ways I failed him and the team, I stated that we should focus on the current situation.
• I explained that I wasn’t made aware before that very morning that I needed to know any additional codes. And when I'm suddenly expected to provide information I do not know, that is setting me up to fail. To fulfill his expectation, I have to track down information, which takes time. 
• I further explained that what Greg asked for was against the company's norm, so I needed Dan's support, which Greg refused. There were no other answers to provide. I cannot materialize an answer which does not exist.
• Greg did not acknowledge anything. Instead he said, word for word: "I need you to stop bugging Cindy." He continued, saying Cindy shouldn’t be answering questions I should have answers to. He said, "It's not her job to do yours."
• I was shocked. I was confused. And all three of us gave him answers, multiple times, and he still wasn't satisfied. No one understands you!
• I felt my eyes well up. I couldn't hold back my frustration. 
• I took a deep breath, telling Greg I understood but didn't agree with his assessment, adding that we would have to chat later. 
• I hung up my office phone. I grabbed my cell phone. I stood up, feeling the weight of stress and anxiety pulling me down. I walked down the hall, passing dozens of employees. I tried to maintain a poker face, but a few of my colleagues saw the tears that already trailed down my cheeks. Once I got to the exit, I ran. I ran into the parking lot, down the street, until I reached a field.
• I sat down and stared skyward. No thoughts in my head—just quiet.
• Soon, Greg started calling my cell phone: one, two, three times, emailing me to call him back. I needed space, but he wouldn’t give it to me. He was texting me to call him: "I don't want this to be a bigger deal than it is."

A couple days later, when the trip concluded, Greg called Cindy and me into his office. He said that the situation the other day was an embarrassment for the team. He also heard that I cried. I acknowledged that I did, saying it was frustrating trying to figure out what he wanted. Greg said that was disappointing because my emotions gave a bad impression of the team. I asked him who saw me in tears, and he said, "Everyone, the whole office knows you cried."

He didn’t apologize for how he handled the situation. He didn't own that he was the reason everyone was confused. 

Greg, in front of Cindy, reiterated that I wasn't meeting expectations. He said that I needed to stop asking her for help and start finding my own answers. Greg goaded her to agree with him. 

Cindy apologized that there was no formal training, but fulfilling Greg's requests was part of the job, and I needed to accept it.

I could barely stomach the conversation. I employed my usual coping mechanism: staring at the wall, nodding quietly, smiling softly, reminding myself that this was my dream...twisted as the reality was.

When I returned to my desk, I began writing an email to Human Resources. I could not accept being bullied by this man any longer.

Initially, my experience with the HR department went well enough. They seemed genuinely concerned about the bullying and that I wasn't given proper job clarity and training. Here were the action items (corporate speak, I know):

• Confirm job description and update responsibilities as needed. 
• Greg worked with HR on this. My job title was changed to Creative Video Specialist. My role was now project manager for the video team in Washington. 
• I affirmed I was up for the challenge but presented the caveat that I was not experienced with extensive video work and would need training. 
• That training—to understand and manage video pre-production, production, and post-production—came in the usual form of being CC’ed on emails. When I asked for learning tools and opportunities, he gave me a college textbook about video production from 1998.
• My new expectation was to manage video shoots, with zero prior experience and no opportunity to attend the actual production. In three years, I attended one video shoot out of over twenty that occurred. Still, I was responsible for managing each video shoot beginning to end, despite the hurdle of getting close to zero hands-on experience.

Unlike the job clarity, HR did not respond to any of my bullying complaints in writing. They did, however, say in person that they would work with Greg on compassionate leadership. Over time, I questioned this work, as conditions grew more hostile in 2015.

Next up: 2015 Bits and Pieces