Part IV - The End of 2014

What Are Your Goals? 

Around October, a meeting was planned with Greg Everage to discuss my short- and long-term career goals. I chatted with Cindy and the department admin about how those meetings work, and they mentioned that it was a chance to discuss how you want to grow in your role and in the company with your supervisor. I planned to discuss the positives (however few there were), the current disparity between my daily tasks and the job description, and also what opportunities I'd like to have.

For my current role, I mentioned to Greg that I wanted the chance to lead some projects. He told me I wasn’t ready, and when I asked what I needed to be ready, he told me “in time.” When I pushed further, he continued to repeat himself. At that point, I grew frustrated (a common feeling). What I was asking for, was the chance to do what was in the job description. So, I decided to take a gamble: If there was no room for me to do what I signed up for, and no timeline of when I could, why not discuss other aspirations?

When we got into long-term career goals, I mentioned since my passion is the company's games, I would be interested in getting closer to the product to utilize those skills. I told Greg I could see myself working in product marketing or a position where I could more readily use my storytelling skills. I was met with hostility: “I don’t want to waste my time training you. It’s a lot of effort to invest, and I’d rather have someone that wants this long-term. Why did you apply to this job? Why didn’t you apply to those roles? If those hiring managers came down right now and offered you a job, you’d leave. Training is a lot of work—I don’t think you realize. I’d rather you leave sooner than later so I don’t waste my time.” I kept reiterating that I wanted to learn and grow in my current role, but I was not receiving opportunities to do so. This was absolutely true. I WANTED the job I applied for; I did NOT want the job he devolved mine into. 

Thereafter, this was a source of tension between us. Greg was convinced I accepted my current role as an "in" for the company. It wasn't that. My survival instinct was kicking in, and I desperately wanted to get away from him. I worked for a nightmare boss at my dream company.

The Department Code Incident

This situation is a bit difficult to describe in writing, but I'll do my best.

• In early November 2014, Greg went up to Washington for a video shoot. In advance of that trip, Cindy trained me how to create an account from the department budget for him to use for video shoot related items (think: staffing, resources, materials, props, etc.). 
• The morning of the shoot, Greg emailed Gloria in the contracts department asking for his department's codes. She expressed that she didn't have that information, stating that he should have and should know this information. Gloria suggested he ask Cindy, since she formerly was the department admin.
• Greg then emailed both Cindy and me asking for "the department code" to pay for his breakfast. At that time, I was in the restroom, so Cindy sent the code she presumed he wanted, expressing that the department generally reimburses meals--they don't approve budgets for that purpose.
• Greg insisted what she sent was wrong, asking her for a different code...and my whereabouts. 
• When I returned to my desk, I saw the back and forth. I walked over to ask the office accountant, Dan, describing what was going on and what Cindy already sent. Dan said while she wasn't wrong, the company preferred reimbursing and gave me that suggestion.
• I typed up Dan's suggestion and sent that over to Greg.
• Greg said that he didn’t want to do that, and that I needed to get the right code. 
• I talked to Dan again, and he mentioned the only code--and only other option--is what Cindy initially shared. Saying Greg should talk to him instead of me acting as middleman (finally, someone with some sense).
• I sent Dan's second recommendation to Greg (here are the only two options: reimburse or use this code) with Dan's phone number, saying if he needed further clarity, it'd be best for them to chat directly. 
• At this point, my phone rang. It was Greg. He asked what was so hard about his request. He asked why I couldn't understand simple questions. He said I wasn’t doing my basic job responsibilities. And to that point, he said he received feedback from the team that I was not meeting expectations. He was displeased that I didn't have the answers I should.
• Hearing all that hurt my insides. But I let him finish without interruption.
• When Greg was done telling me the ways I failed him and the team, I stated that we should focus on the current situation.
• I explained to Greg that I wasn’t made aware before that very morning that I needed to know the codes. And when I'm expected to provide him information ASAP, I’m not given any heads-up beforehand. Because of that, I have to track down the correct info from the proper channels, which takes time. 
• I further explained that I would keep the codes on hand for the future; however, what Greg asked for was against the norm, so yes, I needed to get Dan's recommendations, both of which Greg refused. There were no other answers to provide.
• Greg didn't acknowledge anything I said. Instead he told me, word for word: "I need you to stop bugging Cindy." He continued, saying Cindy shouldn’t be answering questions I should have answers to. He said, "It's not her job to do yours."
• I was shocked. I was confused. This was HIS request! And all three of us gave him the answers, multiple times, and he still wasn't satisfied.
• I felt my eyes well up. I couldn't stop the pain from manifesting physically. I couldn't hold back my frustration. 
• I took a deep breath, telling Greg I understood but didn't agree with his assessment, adding that we would have to chat later. 
• I hung up my office phone. I grabbed my cell phone. I stood up, feeling weight that wasn't gravity bogging me down. I walked down the hall, passing dozens of employees. I tried to maintain a poker face, but a few of my colleagues saw the tears that already trailed down my cheeks. Once I got to the exit, I ran. I ran into the parking lot, down the street, away...away. 
• I laid down in the field across from the office park. It was all dirt, but I didn't care. I needed respite. I stared at the sky. I had no thoughts in my head, I just wanted peace.
• Soon, Greg started calling my cell phone: one, two, three times, emailing me to call him back. I needed space, but he wouldn’t give it to me. He was texting me to call him and not make a big deal out of it.

A couple days later, Greg summoned Cindy and me into his office. He said that the situation the other day was an embarrassment for the team, and he heard I cried. I acknowledged that I did, saying it was frustrating and upsetting trying to figure out what he wanted. Greg responded saying he was disappointed that I cried because it gave a bad impression of the team. I asked him who told him I cried, and he said "everyone, the whole office knows you cried." 

He didn’t apologize for how he handled the situation. He didn't own up that HE was the reason everyone was so confused and frustrated. He reiterated that I wasn't meeting expectations, and said that I needed to stop asking Cindy for help and start finding answers on my own. He encouraged her to agree with him. She said she was sorry that there is no formal training or guides, but fulfilling Greg's requests was part of the job and I needed to accept it. 

I could hardly stomach the conversation. I employed my usual coping mechanism: staring at the wall, nodding quietly, smiling softly, reminding myself that this was my dream...twisted as the reality was.

As I walked out of his office, I decided to reach out to HR. I was done being being bullied by Greg Everage. Well, I wanted to be done...

Initially, my experience with the HR department went well enough. They seemed genuinely concerned by the bullying that I brought to their attention and that job clarity and training were lacking. Here were the action items (such corporate speak, I know):

• Confirm job description and update responsibilities as appropriate. 
• Greg worked with HR on this. My job title was changed to Creative Video Specialist. Greg told me I was now the project manager for the video team in Washington. 
• I told him I was up for the challenge but presented the caveat that I was not experienced with video work and would need training. 
• That guidance—to understand and manage video pre-production, production, and post-production—came in the usual form of being CC’ed on emails. When I asked for more learning tools, he gave me a college textbook about video production from 1998.
• The new expectation, in addition to the admin duties, was to manage video shoots, with zero experience nor the opportunity to attend the actual production. In my three years, I attended one video shoot as Creative Video Specialist, out of the 20+ that occurred. I was responsible for managing each video shoot beginning to end, despite the hurdle of getting close to no on-site experience.

Unlike the job clarity, HR did not respond to any of my bullying complaints in writing. They did, however, mention that they would directly work with Greg on that topic. Over time, I found that topic was not properly addressed, as my working environment grew more hostile in 2015.

Next up: 2015 Bits and Pieces.