After my initial visit with HR, and the subsequent few visits to ensure things were clearer about my job and his behavior. Things went well...for a time. Soon, Greg Everage's behavior reverted back to his normal, with me generally in the crosshairs--or adjacent to--his hostility.
Assorted Inappropriate Comments
I realized quickly that Greg wasn't only a bad manager but a bad person to boot. When we were out to dinner after a late workday, I mentioned to Greg and two other colleagues that another colleague, Christy, and I were attending weekly Soul Cycle classes. Greg noted that was a good thing, saying that Christy needed to work out more and lamented how she used to be cute, but she had gained too much weight. Greg continued saying another female co-worker’s weight and appearance had gone downhill in the past year. I looked to the other two colleagues and muttered "wow." How does a senior manager think it’s OK to talk about young female employees like this? (Yes, I eventually told this to HR.)
On Cindy's eventual last day, Greg, Cindy, and I were chatting about how well Greg was getting along with his new boss, Colin. He said how much better Colin was than Teresa, and that she was too emotional to handle the job. He was happy to work for a man again, he told his two female employees without pause. (Yes, I eventually told this to HR.)
This is just weird: Greg brought in pots and pans his blogger wife got for free from cooking events to sell to co-workers. I ignored the sales attempts, knowing he got them for free and was trying to turn a profit on his co-workers. After a few weeks, and fewer pots sold, Cindy and I were in his office discussing work topics. He pointed out the pots hogging space under his desk, “Do you guys want them? You can have them. I need to get rid of them.” Cindy and I both agreed that we would take them if he’s going to give them to us. He seemed glad and then said, “So, how much will you pay for each?” …What? How do you position giving your employees the free mommy-blogger pots no one will buy, and then ask them for money? (I refused.)
You Should Read My Mind (And My Inbox)
On multiple occasions, Greg berated me for not immediately knowing things like a photographer’s day rate or where a shipment was. And if he couldn't remember something, I was responsible for knowing.
While I always attempted to find out the information, there were several instances where the information he was asking was not given to me nor was I on the communications. If I tried to explain that I was not privy to the information, he would tell me to stop being defensive and do my job. Here are a couple (of so many) examples:
1: Greg came by asking what was going on with the wardrobe from a shoot. I hadn’t heard anything at that point from the production company, so I let him know I wasn’t sure, but I would contact them for the status. He insisted that I was the one handling wardrobe and should already know what was going on. Confused, I told him I would search for an update.
I searched all my emails, deleted and otherwise, and came up with nothing. I went over to his office, telling him if there was an email, I couldn’t find anything. He told me I was dropping the ball on my basic job duties again, and that I'd have to find out what happened. I continued to search through my emails, confused and concerned.
Later, he walked by my desk saying that he found out what happened with the wardrobe. He forwarded me the email with the wardrobe communication and--surprise!--I wasn’t on it. Three weeks prior, Greg and another employee were on the email thread with the production group, not me. And Greg responded to them with what to do. I asked him why he was sending to me if it was already taken care of, and--more importantly--why he didn't redirect them to me in the first place if I was responsible? He said to prove that “the conversation happened” and I should have been included.
A common occurrence: Greg would presume we were on the same page, and would turn hostile when I didn't--and COULDN'T--have answers he wanted.
#2: Greg called me into his office after a video shoot he attended, one of the many that I did not attend. He asked how much the on-site photographer’s hourly rate was. I told him I wasn’t sure of the exact amount off the top of my head, and if I grabbed my laptop, I could get it. He told me I couldn't leave as it needed to be resolved "right now," and that we’d figure it out together.
I sat and watched as he looked through his inbox for the email. He asked me if the photographer's rate was $75 per hour, how much a full day with overtime would be. I said I needed exact hours, applicable overtime rate, and a calculator to give him the correct amount. Greg said, “Oh, come on. The math isn’t that hard. I hired you because you’re smart, right? Are you telling me you can't do simple math?”
Stunned, I excused myself and said I would go grab a calculator so I could answer his question (so I could get out of there). He told me to stay, but like an out-of-body force pulling me away, I continued to walk out.
About five minutes later, he sent me an email--that I was NOT on--with the photographer’s rates and how much the full day was, saying: "If I am asking you to be responsible for these then you do need to be cced on all of the correspondence and that will take place moving forward. The best approach is when we discuss this that you are all in. Not to be defensive because once someone becomes defensive then they are blind to what is needed. Cool?"
At that point, this was the norm. Nearly daily he would ask me for things I didn’t and couldn’t have answers for. Answers that HE had. He would condescend me, I would defend myself, and then he would tell me not to get frustrated. I semi-diplomatically responded to his message above: "Greg, I would ask to be looped into these conversations when they occur so I’m better aware of what’s going on and can anticipate your expectations. Thanks!"
This was what working with Greg Everage was like, every minute and every hour of every workday--he never owned up to his mistakes. I don't know how to put into words how frustrating and confusing this was. I was slowly losing my sanity.
Next up: Health and Confidentiality.
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